Archive for Trans-Tasman Relations

Mr Pink or Mr Blonde?

August 25, 2009 at 5:42 pm · Filed under Rugby, Trans-Tasman Relations

Kevin Rudd, resplendent in his All Blacks tie, looking a bit like he’s come straight from the set of a Tarantino movie.

John Key’s enjoyed his trip to Aus hasn’t he? It’s been very productive by the sounds of it.

I tell you what John: you can get rid of the border controls, have a single currency, a single market, and we’ll even buy your friggin’ apples.

But in return, we get your rugby team. Maybe one or two of the Wallabies might get a guernsey for the AUS/NZ team (the All Golds?), but we’ll just merge the squads and pick from the best, okay?

And we also get Dan Vettori and Jesse Ryder. We’d also take Jacob Oram but we already have one injury-prone over-rated all-rounder.

Done deal.

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Best of Kiwis vs Aussies from FotC

August 21, 2009 at 4:17 pm · Filed under General, Trans-Tasman Relations

Another lazy Friday YouTube. This is becoming a trend…

All the best bits of Aussie baiting from the first season of Flight of the Conchords:

Best bits from the second season are here (these probably aren’t as good though).

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The Tasman’s getting smaller

August 17, 2009 at 6:19 pm · Filed under General, Trans-Tasman Relations

Some good developments regarding trans-Tasman travel in the last couple of days:

Border deal to cut airfares

Prime Minister John Key will this week announce a significant breakthrough in his drive to turn international trans-Tasman flights into domestic ones, a move expected t cut airfares and reduce travel times.

And as reported from the other side of the ditch:

Cheap NZ flights as Tasman union looms

FLYING from Australia to New Zealand will become almost as cheap and easy as domestic travel under a plan to bring the two countries a step closer to a common border.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and NZ Prime Minister John Key will this Thursday announce new efforts to streamline trans-Tasman travel, potentially scrapping departure taxes, duplication of quarantine, customs and security checks and allowing planes to land at domestic terminals.

All sounds pretty positive, and as our glorious manager-in-chief says, it’s “moving into decision-making territory”. That can only mean it’s heading into the final committee and ready for cost-benefit analysis, risk-assessment, and an ROI evaluation. All in all, it’ll probably be in place by 2015.

But anyway, anything to make flights cheaper is fine by me. I might even get to pop over to see a couple of footy matches next year if this is not all completely speculative.

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NZ moves 30cm closer to Aus

July 23, 2009 at 7:25 pm · Filed under Trans-Tasman Relations

Well I knew a lot of Kiwis moved to Australia, but geez, this is a bit drastic isn’t it?

Big quake pushes NZ closer to Australia

A MASSIVE 7.8 magnitude earthquake last week has moved the south of New Zealand closer to Australia, scientists said yesterday.

With the countries separated by the 2250-kilometre-wide Tasman Sea, the 30-centimetre closing of the gap in New Zealand’s south-west won’t make much difference.

Whilst the distance the South Island moved has been given (30cm), no mention was made as to the exact direction of the movement. So we can’t make any predictions as to exactly where the island would hit mainland Aus, assuming regular quakes of similar magnitude in coming years (which, honestly, isn’t unreasonable).

Nonetheless, I reckon they’ll land at the Gold Coast. Nothing like moving nearer to the friends and relatives and all that, and they’ll be able to show them around the best surfing spots and nearest Centrelink offices.

I’m possibly overreacting though. Doing the sums: the Tasman Sea is approx 2250kms, and assuming one large quake causing a 30cm shift per year, that’d be 7.5 million years until landing.

So maybe it’s not time to panic just yet.

Heaven knows, we don’t want any aggression. If the NZ Navy were to get involved, their boat could cause chaos on the Great Barrier Reef.

But just think when they do eventually land, it’s really going to bugger up young Kiwis’ OEs, isn’t it? It’s hardly an OE if it’s to somewhere you can drive to.

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Dingo Deans: Saviour or Saboteur?

July 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm · Filed under Aussie Rules, Rugby, Trans-Tasman Relations

The scenario: The All Blacks bombed out of the last World Cup badly, as did the Wallabies. Much of the blame for the All Blacks’ failure was placed on their coach, Graham Henry, due to his controversial rotational selection policies.

Most ABs coaches don’t last long after such an embarrassment, and there was another younger coach who’d been very successful at Super 14 level by the name of Robbie Deans. Many expected Deans to replace Henry.

At this time the Wallabies were also looking for a new coach, and were interested in getting Deans (a kiwi) on board. However his preference was to apply for the ABs job, which he did.

So, the NZRU had the choice of two main contenders: Henry, who’d tried and failed, and Deans, seen externally as the favourite.

We all know what happened: Henry, despite pretty much being seen rightly or wrongly as one of the main causes of the ABs under-performance at the World Cup,  was reappointed. Leaving Deans to take up the Wallabies job.

The Wallabies camp thought they’d won lotto, but I think we might’ve been duped.

I mean, last night, an out-of-form All Blacks comfortably beat a supposedly in-form Wallabies after a second half comeback. This is an ABs team that only managed to flog, rather than massacre, a weak Italian team recently (I’m led to believe a comfortable 27-6 victory was disappointing).

And I don’t buy the whole we-haven’t-won-in-Auckland-for-137 years excuse. Australia does not do losing. At least not well. Don’t get me started on the bloody Ashes.

So, until Deans proves otherwise, I think he might be the Terry Wallace of international rugby coaching. For you kiwis, Wallace could probably be best described as all sizzle and no sausage, as the recently departed coach of the Richmond footy club.

Either that or he’s a saboteur, sent by the NZRU to ensure the Wallabies don’t win the next World Cup (because if anything could cause riots in the streets of NZ, the Aussies winning a WC hosted by New Zealand would be just about it. Actually it’d be beautiful to watch – from a distance). If this is the case, then well played NZRU. It’d almost be an Australian-esque venture into questionable ethics in the sporting arena. About time you caught on.

Of course I wouldn’t have the slightest clue if I might be right, seeing as I follow proper football, and really I am completely uninformed and unqualified to be commenting.

But still, there’s a small chance I might be on to something. Let’s wait and see.

In the end, none of this really matters of course, because the Hawks are doing a pretty good impersonation of Lazarus, easily beating the Pies and keeping alive their finals chances (until they play Geelong again). Carn the Hawks!

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A good idea is a good idea, even if it’s stolen

June 7, 2009 at 8:59 am · Filed under General, Trans-Tasman Relations

I knew this was bound to happen eventually. A good idea such as this simply cannot go unnoticed across the Tasman:

Premier’s cycleway dream

(Tasmanian) PREMIER David Bartlett peddled a bold vision to build a 450km bicycle track from Smithton to Hobart yesterday as he gave Burnie funding to help it become a cycle city.

“I have a bike rack on the back of the limo and look forward to the day when people will be able to ride from Smithton to Hobart on a dedicated cycleway,” Mr Bartlett said in Burnie.

This of course comes a few months after New Zealand PM John Key announced a bike track running the length of the country.

And did Barlett mention where he’s pinched the idea from? Perhaps give credit for the visionary idea to the man who had the original brainwave?

Not a jot, the cheeky sod.

Still, at least he appreciates the benefits of such a scheme:

“Every dollar invested in cycleways takes more cars off the road. Spending on cycling ticks all the boxes – climate change, health and wellbeing and tourism,” he said.

Apparently size does matter in this case, with both politicians seemingly quite keen to trumpet the length of their respective tracks. John Key’s is the length of NZ, David Barlett’s is planned to eventually stretch from Smifton to Hobart.

It seem it’s not enough to build tracks around the major cities and towns, they actually expect people to traverse entire bloody islands.

Anyway, John Key’s obviously got the longer track, however no mention has been as to the planned width of their respective tracks.

So anyway, it’s all good news. It should even get public support in Tas, as it’ll get cyclists off the road, out of the way of the log trucks.

Now if only Barlett would build a decent mountain bike park!

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Quick, where’s the Aussie angle?

April 21, 2009 at 12:48 pm · Filed under Trans-Tasman Relations

The motel owner in question. Looking sharp big fella.

Outrage once again in New Zealand this morning, as a motel owner in Palmerston North bans residents from Wainuiomata from staying there after a couple of sports teams acted like ferals.

This was on the front page of the Dominion Post. True story.

“Why?”, I hear you asking yourself, “Surely it’s just a small business owner being a bit of a tool?”

Hang on, you’ve missed the important bit:

“Supreme’s owner, Steve Donnelly-an Australian- said guests from Wainuiomata were more trouble than they were worth.”

Nope, the motel owner is one of those dastardly Australians!  Boooo!

This reaction may seem  a bit familiar for those of you who found this blog via a similar media beat-up.

Can someone please enlighten me as to how it is relevant that this guy is from Australia? Why did that need to even be mentioned, other than to stir up some anti-Aussie sentiment?

Surely that sort of thing should be the sole domain of amateur bloggers, not *cough* respected news organisations like AAP.

Anyway, at least our elected representatives take a balanced view on matters such as this. For example, the Labour MP Trevor Mallard did his utmost to lend a sense of perspective to the whole fiasco:

“It’s stupid and very, very unfair. It shows the sort of blind prejudice I thought we didn’t have in New Zealand any more. I’m not surprised the (owner’s) Australian.”

That is an astonishing statement in more ways than one.

Look, the motel owner might be a complete idiot for all I know. I’m not sticking up for him. But the fact the guy’s an Australian is simply irrelevant.

To any journalist considering taking any chance to stir up some Aussie-bashing: please don’t, you just make yourselves look silly.

Anyway, I’m sure Professor Mein Smith will chuck in her two bob’s worth pretty soon. Just as soon as she can think up a Phar Lap analogy.

Updates

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Breaking News: Trundlers spotted in NZ

April 12, 2009 at 5:06 pm · Filed under General, Trans-Tasman Relations

Just to prove to the naysayers, these so-called “born and bred” Kiwis who had never heard of a shopping trolley being called a trundler before, irrefutable proof has been spotted at my local Countdown:

In case you need a closer look:

Honestly, next thing you lot will be telling me a New Zealander was the first to split the atom or something.

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The PM responds

April 10, 2009 at 5:26 pm · Filed under General, Trans-Tasman Relations

Only took him two weeks to formulate a comeback to some of the claims made on this blog. Which is strange for a man of such formidable intelligence (more on that soon).

He could of at least left a comment on here first. Pity.

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Glossary done!

April 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm · Filed under General, Trans-Tasman Relations

Thanks to your feedback, I’ve ended up with a pretty good list. This blog is going to provide potential Australian immigrants with some useful information if it kills me, and by golly, this is a small but significant step in bridging the language barrier.

A few entries are still marked as contentious, so will try to find evidence either for or against those asap.

But I swear my old New World had a trundler bay.

And I’ve heard the term click-clack. In a furniture store. And what noise do futons make when you fold them out?

Exactly.

The link’s up there at the top of the page.

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