Folks, I’d like to introduce a new occasional contributor to the blog. You may have heard of him: Chuck Norris.
Not many people know this, but when he’s not filming movies where he kicks bad guys’ arses with roundhouse kicks, he often hangs out in New Zealand. And at times, he gets a bit frustrated with certain issues happening in NZ, and needs to get them off his chest.
Over to you, Chuck.
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Hi Guys,
The kind folks here at this (and let’s be honest) lame little pissant blog have given me a channel vent my opinion on some of the things happening in this here little island of NZ that I visit from time to time.
Chuck Norris could write a better blog in the 4.32 seconds he spends on the crapper each morning, but the Internet couldn’t handle the traffic if he ever put it online.
The only things Chuck Norris wants to get off his chest at this time are:
Chuck Norris likes his women with moustaches AND goatees. Chuck Norris is going to kick Paul Henry’s ass.
Chuck Norris may have been responsible for that earthquake in Gisborne a couple of weeks ago. He had chilli for dinner the night before. He apologises.
Now Helen Clark’s left for the UN, Chuck Norris now has more balls than the entire NZ Labour Party combined.
Nobody dares overtake Chuck Norris when he’s on the road in NZ.
The geysers in Rotorua stop expelling gas when Chuck Norris rolls into town. They know better.
No cyclist dares to wear lycra in NZ when Chuck Norris is in the country.
Buff Oysters were named after Chuck Norris.
At NZ intersections, everyone gives way to Chuck Norris. If the yellow car tries his shit, Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick him in the face.
Until next time,
NZ Chuck Norris
