Archive for July, 2009
NZ moves 30cm closer to Aus
Well I knew a lot of Kiwis moved to Australia, but geez, this is a bit drastic isn’t it?
Big quake pushes NZ closer to Australia
A MASSIVE 7.8 magnitude earthquake last week has moved the south of New Zealand closer to Australia, scientists said yesterday.
With the countries separated by the 2250-kilometre-wide Tasman Sea, the 30-centimetre closing of the gap in New Zealand’s south-west won’t make much difference.
Whilst the distance the South Island moved has been given (30cm), no mention was made as to the exact direction of the movement. So we can’t make any predictions as to exactly where the island would hit mainland Aus, assuming regular quakes of similar magnitude in coming years (which, honestly, isn’t unreasonable).
Nonetheless, I reckon they’ll land at the Gold Coast. Nothing like moving nearer to the friends and relatives and all that, and they’ll be able to show them around the best surfing spots and nearest Centrelink offices.
I’m possibly overreacting though. Doing the sums: the Tasman Sea is approx 2250kms, and assuming one large quake causing a 30cm shift per year, that’d be 7.5 million years until landing.
So maybe it’s not time to panic just yet.
Heaven knows, we don’t want any aggression. If the NZ Navy were to get involved, their boat could cause chaos on the Great Barrier Reef.
But just think when they do eventually land, it’s really going to bugger up young Kiwis’ OEs, isn’t it? It’s hardly an OE if it’s to somewhere you can drive to.
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Dingo Deans: Saviour or Saboteur?
The scenario: The All Blacks bombed out of the last World Cup badly, as did the Wallabies. Much of the blame for the All Blacks’ failure was placed on their coach, Graham Henry, due to his controversial rotational selection policies.
Most ABs coaches don’t last long after such an embarrassment, and there was another younger coach who’d been very successful at Super 14 level by the name of Robbie Deans. Many expected Deans to replace Henry.
At this time the Wallabies were also looking for a new coach, and were interested in getting Deans (a kiwi) on board. However his preference was to apply for the ABs job, which he did.
So, the NZRU had the choice of two main contenders: Henry, who’d tried and failed, and Deans, seen externally as the favourite.
We all know what happened: Henry, despite pretty much being seen rightly or wrongly as one of the main causes of the ABs under-performance at the World Cup, was reappointed. Leaving Deans to take up the Wallabies job.
The Wallabies camp thought they’d won lotto, but I think we might’ve been duped.
I mean, last night, an out-of-form All Blacks comfortably beat a supposedly in-form Wallabies after a second half comeback. This is an ABs team that only managed to flog, rather than massacre, a weak Italian team recently (I’m led to believe a comfortable 27-6 victory was disappointing).
And I don’t buy the whole we-haven’t-won-in-Auckland-for-137 years excuse. Australia does not do losing. At least not well. Don’t get me started on the bloody Ashes.
So, until Deans proves otherwise, I think he might be the Terry Wallace of international rugby coaching. For you kiwis, Wallace could probably be best described as all sizzle and no sausage, as the recently departed coach of the Richmond footy club.
Either that or he’s a saboteur, sent by the NZRU to ensure the Wallabies don’t win the next World Cup (because if anything could cause riots in the streets of NZ, the Aussies winning a WC hosted by New Zealand would be just about it. Actually it’d be beautiful to watch – from a distance). If this is the case, then well played NZRU. It’d almost be an Australian-esque venture into questionable ethics in the sporting arena. About time you caught on.
Of course I wouldn’t have the slightest clue if I might be right, seeing as I follow proper football, and really I am completely uninformed and unqualified to be commenting.
But still, there’s a small chance I might be on to something. Let’s wait and see.
In the end, none of this really matters of course, because the Hawks are doing a pretty good impersonation of Lazarus, easily beating the Pies and keeping alive their finals chances (until they play Geelong again). Carn the Hawks!
Notes from the Redwoods & Craters
'Be Rude Not To' Trail @ Redwoods
Had yet another visit to the Redwoods in Rotorua yesterday. Despite the rain, we had a good four hour ride and covered a couple of new trails, along with a couple of favourites ridden previously.
Creek, Dipper, and Tahi were as fun as ever, if looking a bit worse for wear due to the recent wet weather and the heavy traffic these trails get. How they actually stay in such good shape despite the hundreds of people who ride them is actually pretty amazing. Still, you’d think that when summer rolls around there are a few patches that are going to need some repair work.
I also decided to check out Be Rude Not To seeing as everyone bangs on about it so much. But let me tell you, it is actually all it’s cracked up to be, even if one or two of the downhill parts are just a tad steep for my liking. But apart from that, it’s narrow, it’s bumpy, it’s slightly dangerous in places, and is possibly one of the most enjoyable tracks I’ve ridden, easily worth schlepping it up the climb to get to the start.
The other new trail was Lion Trail. And it wasn’t that impressive, but it is a handy shortcut to the western side of the park. I wouldn’t go out of my way to do it again though, especially seeing as I managed a spectacular low-speed crash which resulted in a very ungraceful dismount down a bank (thank god for soft vegetation).
Also during the trip I checked out a bit more of the Craters of the Moon park in Taupo (covered previously). This time, apart from Tourist Trap, I also went around Squirt (twice) which is brilliant fun. You can go fast, but there’s enough to keep you on your toes. Also tried out Fast Eddie, which was okay, and then Bumble Bee, which leads you back down to the main road, and is a nice fun downhill track.
The Craters parks isn’t big by any stretch, but it’s really well constructed, and is definitely worth another visit to check out some of the further out trails.
So that was the last few days. The drive home was a bit of an adventure, as you can see below.
Napier/Taupo Highway after a fall of snow.
All in all, it was an excellent few days away. I still honestly cannot get over the amount of land set aside for mountain biking here in NZ, and the amount of work that people, a large proportion of whom are volunteers, put into building and maintaining the trails.
Kiwianarama
If you’ve found anything on this blog even remotely amusing, do yourself a favour and head over to Kiwianarama.
Aimed at covering the “shit we’re really into”, it’s kind of a Stuff White People Like but applied to New Zealand.
I’ve been pissing myself all afternoon, it is that good.
And, as an added bonus, it appears that the author is a Kiwi (albeit an Aucklander), so nobody can get shirty about it.
Some of the nuggets of insight:
There is no winter in New Zealand, apparently. To admit otherwise, is to admit that this is not the tropical paradise our forebears anticipated when they emigrated here, which conflicts sharply with the Kiwi need for constant, positive reassurance, and is deeply unpatriotic. And probably a little racist.
No, there is definitely no winter here. Why else would New Zealanders live in such airy, uninsulated homes? Or wear jandals to work all year round?
On NZ’s love of the EFTPOS card:
Kiwis are, to this day, fiercely proud of their history with Eftpos, and will defend to the bitter end their right to purchase 25c items without using cash.
And on Trademe:
Kiwis love a bargain. They love a bargain so much, that even the meagre 20 cent price to list an item on eBay seemed like a ‘bloody rip off’. So they invented TradeMe, which was not as fancy, but was marginally cheaper. Unsurprisingly, it was an instant hit.
And there is heaps more, so check it out.
John “Kava” Key gets funky, man.
John Key accepts kava: ‘Hell yeah’
The traditional Samoan kava ceremony held no fears for Prime Minister John Key on his arrival in the Pacific Island nation today.
Asked if he was going to partake ahead of an official meeting with Samoa’s head of state, Tui Atua Tupua Tamasese Efi, Mr Key responded: “Hell yeah.”
Rumours that he spent the rest of the night running around the palace in a Tongan grass skirt with a flower in his hair telling everyone “I love you, maaaan!” are completely unfounded.
New Hosting
I’ve just moved the blog across to wordpress.com. It all seems to have gone smoothly, except quite a few of the images etc from old posts need to be fixed up.
If anyone notices any other issues, email me at fushnchups.blog@gmail.com.
Cheers!
