Gee haven’t I generated some traffic.
Hello to everyone. I’m slightly aghast that my humble, and very tongue-in-cheek little blog could get such a reaction.
To the Kiwis reading this: Don’t take it to heart, I seriously love you guys. But you really need to work on your sense of humour. It’s a piss-take, alright?
To Australians: Everything I’ve said is true.
The comments are getting a wee bit aggressive for my liking, so I’m going to turn them off for now.
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Lauren said
Hey I really like your blog!
Jacob Lister said
Hello – I’m another disillusioned Kiwi joining the tide over to Aussie, and thought your blog was pretty much bang on the mark – can you email the comments posted here? keen to have a good laugh & think some people seriously need to HTFU
Lita said
I get you! Ignore the trolls. Haere mai.
kia ora cuzzy said
it’s all gud bro,woodn.t worry what any body else says half of them are hypocrites anyways,yeh i shud no,im alocal,tangata whenua,its all gud to have a crack @ kiwi commercialism, we will have more maori in australia than here,thats only cause they give us a descent amount of respect,that and you ockers are pretty well lazy,anyways gud on ya for advertising skills,,,you gota visit the whanganui river,nothing like it in the world,get in touch with the local iwi,u fullas wood have the meanest time,watch out for the dangerous breed of animal,his names micael lawz,hes a dik,chers mi cuzzys.
figjam said
I think the kiwis are confusing the truth with the facts………
Ian Fenn said
HI
I am an expat Kiwi residing in Europe……….you may well relaise now that NZrs have a masssive inferiority complex, hence the strong responses to your blogs. NZ is a great country but instead of NZrs developing their own Kulture they copy European culture……..French Italian anything but their own. Until NZrs start to really believe that they have a great country they will continue to loose their sense of humour over blogs like yours!!!
Michael said
I’m a pom living in Bath, England. Love your blog, tempted to visit Auckland this year just to see if what you write is true.
bcg said
NZ is capable of producing self-deprecation – “Seven Periods with Mr. Gormsby” and “The Flight of the Conchords” certainly prove that. But are these series popular in NZ?
The sheer number of news outlets that picked up these few blog posts either prove that lazy journalism prevails worldwide (the Times in London has it on from AAP for godsake) or that methinks the kiwis doth protest too much. I wish we knew which.
And Professor Chow Mein from Canterbury – what a boring left wing git.
Pat said
Like your comments, been to NZ beautiful country, people are different, but aren’t we all! We found them very hospitable and friendly. Some of your comments (tongue in cheek) are spot on, we should all learn to laugh at ourselves. At least you got mentioned in the Aussie papers.
Cheers, enjopy your new country.
Steviant said
I’m a born and bred NZer, and feel I’m justifiably proud of our little corner of the world.
I’m not about to join the lines of NZers queuing at the departure gates, but I can’t see what all the fuss about your blog is.
I find it pretty funny and a bit of variation on the tired old trembling sheep jokes. :)
Don’t let the bastards grind you down!
Phil Moore said
Why would you make a website aimed at Aussies? Most of them can’t read :D
What most Australians don’t get is that Kiwi’s do not hate you, we just think you are wankers. You are like Poms with whiney voices, we just feel a little sorry for you guys.
Phul
Andrew said
LOL I am a kiwi and I do like your sense of humour. Such a shame that as a nation we have got so politically sensitive and up ourselces we have forgotton how to laugh. mind you I do cop a bit of flack for openly admitting I like Aussies, particularly when you do things like kidnap Helen Clark. Mind you I was very pissed of with you when you let her go!!!!!
Alesha said
When you think about it both countries are shit-house all everyone does in each coutnry is take the “puss” out of each other………….im a kiwi living in Perth……and think everyone needs to get over themselves…..SMILE
Chris said
I’m not sure what you’ve said that isn’t true. Rotorua does stink. DB does make shit beer. We have (our share of) crap drivers and mountain biking is fun.
But my opinions probably don’t count, I’ve lived overseas and thus fondly think of you our brash and noisy Aussie cousins–or as I prefer to call you, “New Americans”
Dave (Auckland) said
If you cant see the funny side of this then you should take a serious look at yourself. You too.
Rebecca said
I got to say, I love you blog, I am a Kiwi, and we really need to stop taking ourselves so seriously, can’t say that I think everything you say is true, but it sure is funny!
Francis said
I am not a kiwi, neither Australian therefore I am not biased or have tendencies to any side. I have been living in New Zealand for 6 years and have to agree with most of things you said.
Kiwis have this thing of thinking they live in an unspoiled paradise, the only country in the world where people can enjoy life, live with dignity, where life in general is near perfection.
They get mad at you if you don’t agree with that and will throw on your face any little issue you may have with your home country.
The main problem kiwis have is that they don’t have the ability to see themselves in the mirror. They prefer just pushing the dirt under the carpet and keep imagining they live in a paradise.
They can’t admit they have a huge problem with drugs, with alcohol, with domestic violence, with racial discrimination against themselves and foreigners, that this country has nothing to offer to someone looking for a career other than in farming and tourism, etc..
And then, when we tell kiwis they have a problem, they just blame the Americans and the Australians, exactly as a 7 year old would blame their older brothers and sisters when something goes wrong.
Well done guys and I am sure you have just scratched the surface of the issues we have here in NZ.
ElMundo said
I am a KIWI living in Spain. I read about “fushnchups” online this morning and thought I´d check your comments out. Well I hate to say it but,”what´s all the fuss about”?????? Over sensitive Kiwis!!!!
I actually agree with some of your observations. Further, the Herald was a bit unfair as it fails to mention the positives in your BLOG.
Anyway, keep doing what your doing and hopefully you will find a local beverage to your liking.
Ciao
Sarah said
As a NZer who loves her country whole heartedly i can agree with some of the blog comments and others not so much…
In my opinion Aussies have a great sense of humor, sure they push the boundrys in some aspects but thats what makes them so funny. At the end of the day when you compare the 2 countrys we really aren’t that much different from each other especially when you compare us to europe and the americas, so why has the attitude gone from a basic “sibling rivalry” to “angry next door neighbour” complex.
Karen said
I have been living on and off in New Zealand for a few years and I must say that I find that a lot of the New Zealanders seem to be suffering from a serious case of inferiority complex.
But then cannot the same be said of the Scots toward the British and the Canadians toward the Americans and it seems anywhere in the world that shares a border or sea with a more successful country.
K said
but yes nz has its faults as all countrys do, youd be stupid to think otherwise, but to publish it on a website like you have is indecent, your entitled to your veiws, i respect that, but voice them in a politer way, I dont make rude comments bout some of the featrures of your country I dont like, so dont do it to mine
Bugz said
Love your blog – Kiwi’s have a massive inferiority complex, it makes me absolutely sick. Also lacking is a sense of humour – don’t take the abusive comments to heart.
Tee said
Hey, I’m a Kiwi living in London. I agree with Bugz – NZers have a massive inferiority complex. Probably to do with being adrift on little islands in the middle of nowhere and feeling like they have to prove themselves, which is a good thing. But lighten up Kiwis! Where is that relaxed sense of humour we’re supposed to be known for? Take a chill pill, it’s only one person’s blog. And a funny one.
Ben said
FYI the correct spelling is kia ora.
Lisa said
LOL!!
Thanks for the laughs..I can see the humour in it, and I’m a Kiwi!
I also lived in Rotorua for many years, and you SO right about the smell.
Peter said
We Australians are lucky to have the Kiwis as neighbours. Of all the folk in the entire world we couldn’t have better people next door. I hope that they find us just as good to have on the other side of the pool!
DIngo Dave said
G’day,
Another Kiwi that agrees with you. Most of the knee jerk reaction will be from plebs who have never left the country (at most a weekend on the Gold Coast) and judge everything by their limited knowledge. I had the misfortune of living in Auckland for over ten years (couldn’t get out because of commitments at the time) and would never live there again.
Don’t get disheartened by the dickheads. There are some Kiwis that are able to take a joke (especially when it’s true)
Goodonyermaate!!
Sylvia said
I get you mate! Thanks for making me laugh today.
John said
Geez how the papers really screw things around to catch the eye and stir the heart..am a Kiwi who has the privledge to live in Aussie..we are so damn lucky being where we are in the world..of course Kiwis have a great sense of humour as do Aussies..we are so similar it ain’t funny (no pun intended)..ok Kiwis are prob a little more insular, prob to do with the size of the country…work friend just came back from NZ..loved it…great people, friendly, welcoming ..your blog is great and totally different from what the SMH and Aussies papers said…enjoy….she’s a beautiful place as is Oz…
Steve said
I have just read an unbelievably one sided article about your blog on stuff talking about the reaction from kiwis. I never cease to be amazed.
I found your articles very funny, true and in no way needlessly nasty. My family and I are ex-pat aussies and we have had many a laugh over the very same things which you have written about.
We also would no rather live in Auckland than Sydney (and I notice the stuff article didnt mention your sideswipe at Sydney).
We find New Zealand is a beautiful place and to be fair the people are very nice, very friendly, until they find out we’re Aussies. Now I dont mean to suggest things get nasty from that point but the sneer appears and the little digs start. My wife recently reached boiling point at a supermarket checkout as the lady (and I use that term loosely) made a couple of digs about an aussie league player who had been injured in an Aus v someone match (I dont think it was NZ), comments along the lines of it’s a shame he wasnt hurt more. This just pushed my wifes buttons but she did in response build a fairly good argument. And I quote, “In any tri-nations rugby tournaments, cricket shields or olympics, if Australia gets knocked out, we (Aussies) will next follow and support New Zealand as our sister country. Kiwis will undoubtedly support anyone but the Australians, absolutely anyone, just out of spite. The pride of the nation is not based on whether they win or not but whether they come in front of Australia.
Lovely place but as a nation, just a little insecure.
Dave said
Hey,
As a Kiwi living overseas I also read about your blog via the Herald. After reading it here I think they need to address their editorial skills. To skim all the negative comments and omit the good comments seems like a set up to drive a whole bunch of negative feedback at your site. Your site is a funny and a very true observation of NZ life, I see a lot of sensible people agree (You can pick them as they’re the Kiwi’s living overseas. oh and they can spell)! I also liked Francis’ comment and feedback…Spot on observation similar to many I’ve heard before! I love old NZ but as noted it’s not the utopia it’s cracked up to be. However regarding the beer, you need to try Monteiths and Mac’s…DB’s not referred to as Dog’s Bollocks for nothing. :)
Big M said
Hey, your blog is quite funny.
WE Kiwis are just a bit more sensitive than the average Ocker, which you’ve probably now realised.
But keep up the postings. In this recession we need whatever will pass as humour to keep us laughing.
Rick said
SLOW NEWS DAY. Sure it’s not you with the failed sense of humour?
Paul said
Nice photos. May I add that the redwoods bike track in Rotorua is pretty awesome too. We are still unable to find anything close to it, after moving to Western Australia.
Speaking of the transTasman rivalry. My experience is that Kiwis are generally helpful and nice people. Top notch! Some though, can be quite condescending, especially towards minority group i.e Asians, without even realizing it. Aussies tend to be more business like, just like every other major city dwellers.
Keep up with the posting
Lissie said
You guys rock! As an expat Kiwi living in Perth you are a breath of fresh air. Found you via the idiot NZ Herald – who didn’t link to you but did quote you – duh guys heard of Google! Auckland a better tourist city than any in Australia -well OK the head of Auckland’s “tourism” has to say that but huh? NZ has some tourist spots – Auckland has the biggest airport that’s it!
Welcome to the chaos of the internet – you have got your self some priceless publicity especially for such a young blog – who reported yout ? Looking foreward to the NZ beer series: check out some of the boutique beer – they actually use hops!
Keep it up – don’t worry too much about the haters – feel free to delete or edit comments -its your blog you rule!
Lisa said
Hey there
Just read your blog and as an ex pat Kiwi living in the UK – I think it’s just about spot on. Soooo funny, and I think I probably have mates that still wear short trousers!! We call them half masts in the UK!! The irate Kiwis really need to be able to take a joke – man come on – you have no problem taking the piss out of Aussies, Poms etc – so lighten up and grow a sense of humour. You seem to have overlooked the positives that this blog has highlighted – oh but that’s right – just focus on what you believe to be the negatives.
Have to disagree about Kiwi beer though – you should try living in the UK!!!
Keep it up, you made me laugh.
moth said
I myself am born n bred kiwi and yes auckland does suck, everyone knows db is shite, the pong of rotorua is a very old joke. cant say that aussies are the nicest people in my experience but theres always the ying with the yang no matter where you are aye cuzz? keep up the good work of putting off ozys from moving to aotearoa.
if you want a decent beer then try any of the tuatara range or taa kawa, very full flavoursome beers.
churr
Haters Anonymous said
Honestly, I don’t understand why so many people have commented that Kiwis have an inferiority complex, we certainly don’t feel inferior to the Aussies, maybe its them that have a complex with us, with such a small country being their biggest sporting rivalries (kinda pathetic don’t you think). Maybe Kiwi’s get so offended by the childish jokes and constant digs because we don’t sit around wasting time making jokes or even talking about the Aussies because we’ve got better things to talk about! I think Aussies are a little bit obsessed with Kiwis thats why they spend so much time talking about us!!! (Now who’s got the complex???) Also the sheep jokes, getting a bit old don’t you think?? Whatever it is you say we do to our sheep (yeah you know what it is). We’ll what do we do with them afterwards? Export them! Yep you Aussies love it! (Maybe it gives them more flavour, I’m not sure, you eat more of it than we do!). Also the people who created this site and try to sound so educated, well how could someone with a PHD talk so ignorantly and generalise everything. Maybe we don’t have the perfect paradise that you refer to but you certainly can’t say we don’t have a beautiful country. We’re not trying to compete with Oz, its Aussies that constantly try to trash us, honestly its quite clear isn’t it??? Why would you put so much effort into trying to make us look like idiots? Which in actual fact has made you look that way. Come on, fush n chups, can’t you get a little more original or creative?? Notice, that you don’t get Kiwi’s taking the piss out of Aussie accents like “fesh n cheps” (again we’ve got better things to do). A little bit of fun we can deal with and Kiwis are great at taking the piss, maybe it’s just we’re over the old, dry jokes that you keep repeating……………… DON’T BE HATERS!!!!
hahahahagreattobeakiwi said
Ha!! It’s that ‘bugz’ fellow again – Keeorra bro!
This is just what NZ needs – someone to take the piss like this. I agree with the inferiority complex that has been mentioned – our heads are so far up our own ass we seem to fail to notice the crap parts of our country. I think a great majority of NZ’rs believe this is actually heaven! I’ve done alot of travelling and it is an amazing country – best in the world and thats not a biased opinion – but it’s quickly going down the shitter. I think largely due to our ignorance.
Youth crime for example – why do our youths have to strive to be ‘gangster’ – just cause of the American rap/hip hop music scene?? Why can’t we make our own ‘trend’? As a 21yr old myself I see the influence the US has on people around me first hand….
Also….to ‘Karen’ on the comment about sharing a border with a more successful country. One would bloody hope Aussie is a more succesful country with a population approx 5 times the size of ours and a GDP approx $600 billion more. =)
Still all this aside – I would still rather be a kiwi with an inferiority complex than from a country colonised by the shite of the British – no wonder you guys whinge alot though. =)
Matt Carter said
I’M A KIWI AND AM PROUD TO BE LIVING IN THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. You don’t realise how great NZ is until you have been away from it. I have lived in Melbourne, UK and the US and have learnt to appreciated how great our country is.
To all the Kiwis offended by this blog, don’t bother I think it seems pretty tongue and cheek to me. Even if they are why should we care what the Aussies think? The less of them hear the better ;)
greg (kiwi in brasil) said
hey
love your blog, as a kiwi blogging in brasil, i too seem to have offended some locals with my views on the country..
seems some people are a bit sensitive, and possibly comedy doesn’t work very well on the internet!
keep up the good work!
greg
True kiwi joker said
I just want to say that the people getting their panties bunched up are just a minority you’ll find in any country and I’m certain that if I did a similar thing about Aussie I’d get all these Aussie Aussie Oi Oi bogans giving me death threats.
Humour and banter is a big part of our culture… outside of Auckland… and most of us can laugh at ourselves.
Keep up the good work…
Matt Carter said
Also it’s KIA ORA! unless you meant to write “food healthy”!
Andrew said
Nz Herald have unfairly given you blog a bad rap, I am a kiwi living in perth and when i went to the Nz Herald website to catch up on the current news. I read the article on your website and first off I was thinking WTF another aussie giving us crap and I myself was ready to put on the battle armor and defend these “comments” but apon reading your blogs its no wonder why there is tension between the Australia and New Zealand at times. Your blog is very well writen with both humor and and credit to NZ. I would just like to say that being a Kiwi in Perth I do get a bit sick of the comments, sheep jokes and currently the “beached as bro” jokes made at times, its not a inferiorty complex just an irritation. I feel if more people were like you (myself included) we would have better relations.
Chris In Abu Dhabi said
Again whats all the fuss about ? Im fro,m Invercargill and I get people saying “sorry” to me from being from there, i couldnt care less and then I moved to al ain in the UAE and people from dubai used to say “sorry” to me when I told them I lived there, hilarious !!! But most of the posters here are correct, NZers can be an uptight lot at the ebst of times and get fired up when someone disses there country, just look at those idiot rugby scribes. The thing i find the most interesting is that an australian would move to NZL, wouldnt they be taking a 30% paycut ?
Leanne said
Wow, you really did generate some traffic! I’m sitting here at my desk (disk) in London and had a good chuckle at your blog. Over here in the UK, there is and always will be a “banter” between the kiwis and aussies. Hey and I get mistaken for an aussie a lot but I don’t get twisted out of shape about it. Let’s face it, both are beautiful countries. Rotorua might absolutely pong but it brings in the Tourists! I just say shut your pie hole and enjoy what you’ve got wherever you are in the world!
PS. Go the short shorts!!!
Andrew said
I love this. It’s hilarious and you have an eye for detail. As for comments and Kiwi inferiority, the fact that this gets in the Herald is proof enough that Kiwis (and I number myself among them) can be a bit uppity when foreigners say anything other than “NZ is brilliant”. Plus the Herald did a great line in misrepresentation. That’s not a Kiwi thing, though, that’s journolists the world over.
Keep up the good work!
Jen said
Hi,
I’m a Kiwi living in London, but am due to return to my beloved NZ in April. I appreciate you are just taking the piss about NZ as long as you can take it too), but felt the need to say in NZ we do have Paradise. After travelling and living around the world and seeing other countries I am glad I am able to return and live in such a beautiful country. Whilst there are some things in NZ that are not the greatest (this is in all countries though) or to everyones taste, overall you would be hard pressed to find anywhere else with so many different places to visit in such a small country(The people, yes Rotorua, The Glaziers, The beaches, Queenstown, Milford sounds, The waterfront in Auckland, The All Blacks, The snow, The sun, perky nanas, pineapple lumps, the green lush country side, beautiful scenery and Lion Red to name a few). Not to mention that there are no snakes or deadly spiders living there either. I must mention that since travelling around the best Australians I have ever met have not been living in Australia but travelling the world, they become better people once they see what is out there, obviously this can be said about any nationality too lol. Leaving my country to travel was the best way to realise I am going back to an amazing unique country and now have a huge appreciation of what I actually have on my doorstep. I say we have the best country in the world. I am soooo lucky that my grandparents had the foresight to leave England travel 1/2 way across the world, check out Australia then go to live in NZ so I can now reap the benefits and so can generation after generation too.
Jen (True blue Kiwi through and through lol Australians but you have nothing on us NZ’ers). xx
Jason said
You guys are awesome. I subscribed to you on google reader.
Don’t worry about what the kiwis say on your website. I would let them make their comments. It will be funny!!! Jason
Damo said
Keep up the gags mate. Ignore those who seem to have had a humour bypass. They don’t represent all kiwis, probably just those that read the Herald (which btw is probably one of the worst newspapers in the world. Right after The Age.)
Good stuff.
Bubbles said
Absolutely love the blog!!
Im a very patriotic Kiwi living in London, but I have to put my hands down to the maker of this site…its hilarious and the reaction from everyone else just makes it all the better!! Keep it up ahaha
gw said
the papers certainly took your comments out of context. when you read them amongst the blog entries its pretty clear that they are in jest.
this is just another case of the media sensationalizing something that is actually quite harmless, and the blame rests mostly with them, and with those that chose to comment without actually reading your entire entries
best of luck
OutofTouch said
I’ve just read about your blog on Stuff and thought I’d come an check it out. The fact that folks from Tourism Auckland, Rotorua, DB, etc. feel the need to defend NZ so vociferously just goes to show how small-minded and insular many Kiwis can be. Why feel the need to acknowledge, let alone retaliate, to a blog by some anonymous Aussies which is clearly tongue-in-cheek? What does it matter?
As a Kiwi living in the UK (and thinking about returning home), stuff like this really concerns me. I love NZ with a passion and dream of living there again but every now and then I’m reminded of our massive inferiority complex and our small-minded views. Face it, in the grand scheme of things NZ means almost nothing to the majority of the rest of the world. Sorry, but that’s the way it is.
Why not just be thankful, confident and safe in the knowledge that NZ is a great country with a lot going for it and leave it at that? If someone wants to take the piss out of NZ, let them, and take it on the chin, happy that you live there and they probably don’t.
Kiwi_NZ said
This made me cringe: “voice them in a politer way, I dont make rude comments bout some of the featrures of your country I dont like, so dont do it to mine.” I’m going to assume this is an adult trying to spell here, and put together a sentence. It’s typical of the “unique” comments you’ll find plastered on international news sites comments areas from us Kiwis, that make us a laughing stock.
Alex said
I’m from the UK, I lived in New Zealand for a year, and do think of it as my 2nd (although slightly more backward) home. It’s quite obvious your comments are lighthearted. They do take themselves too seriously. It’s thought of as this idyllic epic land but in actual fact it has just as many problems as the rest of the world, except they don’t like to admit it! Very amusing. I shall be reading more of this
Alex said
Oh and before I get backlash for the backward comment… that too was a joke. K.
Clairzilla said
I love it… Thanks to news.com.au you’re getting massive publicity now!! Awesome. Love NZ and love Australia…
Kiwi_in_UK said
Mate your blog is really funny. I’m a kiwi overseas and I think most of it is spot on, albeit with an Aussie twist.
Us Kiwis just have that little brother v big brother thing about us. Always will be like that.
Khutzemateen said
The NZ press should grow a thicker skin. Get over yourselves. Try living in Canada next door to the most obnoxious, media juggernaut the world has ever seen. Love your blog and when will NZ ever get over Phar Laps, Pavlovas and under arm bowling? Crikey!
Mark said
Piece of advice as an expat in another country…..
Stop whinging. :)
Naaah, in all seriousness this blog is a hilarious read…enjoy yourselves across the Tasman.
Joel said
It seems allot of people seem to think “Kiwi’s have a massive inferiority complex”. It sounds like some people have read a comment and have decided that it sounds intelligent enough to add to pass off as their own. In all of my travels and experience this is definitely not the case and you will usually find most kiwis to be extremely proud of who they are and the country they are from, except maybe for the people who have mentioned it above but that’s their own personal issues and not that of a nation.
Great Blog I’ve enjoyed every bit so far.
Grahame said
> Gee haven’t I generated some traffic.
Well, I’m sorry to say, it’s over. That’s such a kiwi way to say it. Your assimilation will soon be complete
(from an ex-kiwi now resident in Oz)
crispy said
what’s a bush fire?
Jack Ladd said
You are right on the money guys. Born and raised in NZ and have spent the last seven years away. Coming back has been a shock, that is for sure. Crazy prices and crap wages make this place Rip-Off Central. The only reason the place is not completely trashed is because there are only 4 million doing the trashing, but we are hard at it, still. Go for a job and you will be asked some of the dumbest questions ever by people who will not get back to you even if it is to say you missed out. We have a jobs forum attended by the nation’s finest and come up with a cycle track. Oh dear. We used to split the atom, build grand prix cars, climb mountains, but that is all gone and now we have team meetings and talk in buzz words and silly acronyms. The talent has walked and it shows.
jeff said
kiwi living abroad with many other anzacs – agree with Chris above…..great read! ignore the pathetic BS from NZ media taking comments out of context and looking for a story. Smile and keep blogging!
Matt said
As a Kiwi who’s been living in the UK for 9 years, its refreshing to read this blog and hilarious to take note of the absurd hooplah created by the AAP.
Your dose of reality is just what Kiwis need to squash our ridiculous Napolean complex, to realise we mean sweet F.A as far as the rest of the world is concerned, and to realise ultimately that patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
matto said
Ha Ha!!! You’re on National News in NZ for dumping on Auckland!!! This is the best exposure any web site could ever ask for! Great job!!! and it was a fun read too.
Thanks for making my morning more enjoyable!
rex said
australians are very level headed people
the dribble from both side’s of there mouth at the same time.
Nina said
Hahahaha Woke up this morning to the ‘Fush n Chups’ news story. Had to check it out. What a laugh. I am pure ‘bread’ (fish n chips, bread, get it) Kiwi. Love this website. Gota learn to laugh NZ
Jenny said
I just heard about your blog on the Herald website and came here to look all annoyed. Boy, did the Herald want to make you look bad! After reading some of your blogs, I laughed out loud. The article totally only showed one side. I agree with a lot of the comments, NZers do have an inferiority complex but I think that comes from years of people around the world never hearing that country before (at least before Lord of the Rings). What I don’t like is that while your blog is light hearted, and being cheeky towards NZ, a lot of the comments are really negative. It doesnt fit in with the website.
Kate said
Love your Blog! I’m a Kiwi and what you said about Auckland is so True. They think anything South of the Bombay Hills doesn’t exist. Keep up the good work and give em hell.
dan said
great blog! keep it up, we are far too sensitive over here, just jealous of how well you aussies take the piss!
Andrina said
Hi
I’m a Kiwi and I love your site! You were all over the news today so I had to check it out! Most of what you say is true -especially about us needing to work on our sense of humour!
Keep it going – it’s great :-)
jason brown said
. . .
ha ha!
Don’t fall for my media colleagues stirring things up – they just love a good piss-take because it gives them an excellent excuse to ask po faced academics and petty officials really snotty questions.
Auckland IS a horrible soulless city.
Officially, for example, city fathers (and a few mothers) blag on about being the “biggest Polynesian city in the world.”
However, I recall walking along the waterfront one day and realising that there was nothing, absolutely nothing to tell me I was in Polynesia.
Oh, except for the huge Coca Cola billboard with a cartoon surfer on it wearing a green tiki cartoon pendant.
No banners, no motifs, subtle or otherwise, no outstanding examples of indigenous carving (apart from a rather lonely entrance piece at Aotea Square.
Where is our public art, other than the examples of strangled and tortured European angst that tourists can see any old where?
Where is the stuff that makes us unique in the world, that offers visitors an exciting sense of “somewhere else.”
At least Oz plasters aboriginal art all over its jumbos and so forth – Air New Zealand reacted with horror that something similar might be tried instead of their eternally frigid livery.
If Australians are the New Americans, then, I’m afraid to say, that New Zealanders are making a good impression of being New Australians – except for the culture bit!
. . .
sparky said
Hey i’m a kiwi and its good to see a website on the internet that atully has bad things about new Zealand. Theirs no website out their….
Conan said
As a Kiwi living in NZ and loving it, I have to say I don’t know what all the Hoo-ha was about either.
Looking over your blog, it seems that you’re being typical cheeky Aussies. Most of the comments that were in the papers seem to have been taken out of context – I note that you joke about Rotorua, but also comment on having a good time.
Some people are just a bit over-sensitive I think. Here is another Kiwi who admits to having a sense of humour! Because let’s face it, when you first drive into Roto-vegas, you do think someone let rip. :D
Rod said
Love it! It’s bloody hilarious and nowhere near damming as the papers are sensationalising it as! This is a classic and enjoyed reading it very much! Keep it on’ movin’, sweetheart.
From,
Proud Aussie..
Emma said
Oh dear, im a little worried that Kiwis have lost their sense of humour. Im a kiwi and i find these comments funny and mostly true. Dont take everything so seriously, laugh a little, youre embarassing us with your reactions!
Amanda said
Thats one of the funniest blogs I’ve read in quite some time – I’m proud to be kiwi – but I also have a sense of humor. My suggestion to the “PC Brigade” that have got so upset about your comments, would be – “make an appointment with your proctologist and see if they can maybe locate your HEAD!” I guess the amount of response to your blog shows just how blessed we all are to live in such a country……. i wonder if people in africa have time to spend worrying about some tongue in cheek comments about their country posted on the web…….. seriously kiwis, lighten up, laugh at ourselves – lifes too damn short. Oh by the way – completely agree about the auckland comments :-) Welcome to NZ.
Bratt said
How embarrasing!! We kiwis are suppoused to be the master of the piss take, and here we are reacting like a pack of whinging pomes!!!
Its suppouse to be you Aussies who take everything just a little bit too seriously, while we kiwis have a sly giggle at your distress.
Hoisted by our own petard. Oh dear.
kiwinbelize said
“OMG they are saying such hurtful things about my beloved country!!!!!!”
Those who CAN laugh have truly got it going on……..those of you who cannot, too bad, your lives must suck.
The funny thing is ……….. you same folk are totally setting yourselves up for this!
They are calling it as they see it – with humour and love!
These kids are smart and they are funny. What is the problem?
biggirlie said
Hi – love your blog. I’m a Kiwi, born in Rotorua, and yes I still giggle when someone farts. On the other hand, my husband does “let one (or more) rip” thinking that it’s well camoflaged (not!).
Too true about Auckland being the big suckhole of NZ – wish I lived anywhere but here.
Keep up the good work – now if only an expat Kiwi started a blog about moving to Australia, we’d have the best of both worlds.
Amy said
Of course us Kiwi’s have a sense of humour….
Why do you think we put up with you Aussies?
Adam said
At the end of the day, we are what we are.
Aaron said
Haha nothing wrong with NZ why else would these ockers be writing about this fab country who cares what they think anyway no countries perfect
KiwiPom said
Some of us are trying to do something about it, but having been here for 40years+ The one thing a Kiwi won’t do is complain to the ones who can make a difference. It comes down to the bird that only comes out at night to look around.Check out http://powerttpeople.blogspot.com/
Ditchy said
Hi,
Good on you for calling it straight (beer aside but that’s maybe a personal taste – though there’s nothing wrong with most Aussie beer either). I’m a Kiwi who had never been out of an airport in Australia until a year or two ago (but been to the US, China and worked in several European countries) and have this last year spent at least a weekend in Sydney every month.
Lived in and around Auckland for almost a decade now but have to admit Auckland is the flat beer to Sydney’s chilled champagne. There are some upsides to that too (lower levels of crime) but it makes for one sprawling sleepy suburb paralyzed by some of the worst public transport in civilized cities. Shanghai for instance has MUCH better systems as does Sydney.
It is possible to have fun despite Auckland’s natural tendency to just lie around on the couch but you have to be a sniper to hit a sunny weekend for any big plans.
Reliable fun can only be had indoors.
In contrast, Sydney has great weather, fantastic and lively beaches, a real CBD with places to go and things to do.
Once outside the cities, NZ has much more accessible scenery though as well as better skiing and climbing. That said a walk in the Blue Mountains (around 1hr train ride from Sydney CBD)and coming across a 1.5m goanna on the trail makes up for a lot too.
Good on you for calling it as you see it and I must say the TV there is more livelier and more refreshing as presenters don’t take anything as seriously as we do over here. We need more of you Aussies over here to shake it up a bit and get us out of our shells.
But good luck….
Keabird said
Love your blog, I read the article in Stuff then clicked through expecting to be deeply offended – and discovered it’s all too true – not sure about our Hobbit dress though our feet are not usually that dirty or hairy!
The press just love the negative don’t they and the pick out a few comments and turn it into a story – keep up the good work. We need more people like yourselves here
Wal said
its a bit tongou’n cheek, if you wanna call it that way. u sure stired up Kiwi pride of their sense of humour. and when it comes to that, Kiwi’s don’t have much to show for. Kiwi’s can dish out but can’t take it on the chin, definitly not from an aussie. might be an inferiority complex, might be a whinging complex they have adopted lately. keep going, hold the mirrow for a bit longer
still, I don’t like Aussie Rugby and Aussie Ref’s, too much ego here :-)
cheers
mek said
keep it up
everything you’ve blogged is correct… Gawd, they’re fuckn boring!
Lisa said
As a Kiwi I find your blog quite amusing. Of course I disagree with parts of it, but I’m pretty sure this happens when anyone expresses their opinion!
I’m proud to be a New Zealander, but I also share in some culture cringe, just as most nations do (my American friends can well relate).
I am sure that any Kiwi in Oz could produce their own blog in the same style, and probably do.
Good luck with your new found fame!
Steve W. said
G’day – I thought the article in stuff was the usual media beat-up. Your blogs are bang on the money – particularly the bit about us kiwis needing to get a sense of humour. I love the professor saying it is “pathetically rude”. Fact is, Auckland has no soul, DB is god-awful beer, and as for The Age (which I had to google…) – you’re right, very difficult to find!
Haven’t seen any of the abusive comments, but I wouldn;t worry about ut. Keep on giving us some stick – by gud wu nud ut.
Steve W. said
Oh yeah lol and comment of the week from Rotorua – “it’s the smell that makes us special”.
It sure does.
Lisa said
Oh, and saying that ‘all’ Kiwis/Aussies are one way or the other is obviously erring on the side of hyperbole. Generalising is for ignorants, be a little more open-minded, people!
morgue said
Hey – I haven’t even read a single post here, just came via the newspaper article. And, man what. Sorry about the reaction. You’re fully entitled to “pull our boob” (Conchords style) without major newspapers freaking out about it. Not a good look, Enzed!
Kiwi back home from Oz said
Good on you. My family and I just spent 2 years in WA and kept a blog with of our experiences and adventures (the good and the bad).
Love your humour!
Lindsay said
I’m am from New Zealand and i think this page is great. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves!
Congratulations on making the morning news over here :)
Elephant'e said
Plenty of truth and not void of humour. I’m part of the travel generation, as are most of my friends, reasonably well educated with high salaries. Most of us have lived in many countries including Oz, but out of probably forty Kiwis i know who have travelled, and could live anywhere they want, all but two have returned home….for all it’s faults, the good outweighs the bad. I do have to disagree with the beer, i think you need to be pointed in the right direction, some Emersons brews have 16x more hops than Heinekin. Try the boutique breweries, thats where its at in NZ…….also can’t say i have ever had an Aussie beer i liked especially in quoinslend.
Pique Oil said
In the early eighties I was snet to the West Island to carry out missionary work.I spent endless hours in queensland bush pubs trying to convert the natives. Many busted lips and sore heads later I was recalled to the mainland and retirement.
Perhaps I did have an effect after all, as you have clearly seen the light and come to Godzone.
Welcome, Kia Ora and enjoy the Bay.
shane said
How bloody dare you!!!!!
Every self respecting kiwi knows that everything North of the Bombay Hills..ie Auckland,is NOT part of New Zealand… so stop bloody lumping Auckland and New Zealand together… geesh..bloody australians need to get proper maps….. :)
sunny side up said
love you love you love you
Ray said
I have to agree that most of us have no sense of humour about our country. I lived in the UK for 3.5 years and realised that most kiwis take NZ far too seriously. It has its problems like any other country and there are tourist destinations in the big wide world that easily rival and in many cases superceed our offerings. Great blog – keep it up. I love the ‘fuck you’ one-liners as well, probably from people who scuttle back to the safety of the Trademe messageboard cesspool afterwards to gloat about how they ‘stuck it to those aussies’.
Hayden said
It doesn’t matter about any of the crap on this website. We still beat you in the Rugby league world cup!
jelly said
Ignore the OTT reaction. I’m a pom who’s been told a few times to ‘go home then’ by kiwis, when all I’ve done is complained about the rain! Anyway, most of your posts are complementary to NZ, what’s the beef?
Devo said
Ha! What’s the problem? I’m sure most of us Kiwis have no problem with what you’re saying – but for a handful of morons and the media (maybe one of those is redundant).
The numbers for this site must be great the past two days!!
che tibby said
i’m kiwi and ur right. auckland is soulless, DB is weasel piss, and rotovegas stinks.
quick question.
why don’t you munters have google ads up and running? you’d be making a fortune.
Kerah said
Yeah we all need to lighten up, lol.. I have lived in both NZ and Australia, both countries have wonderful quirks we can take the piss out of. Yep, ‘New America’ would be an awesome name for Australia doncha think??
Dave said
Can’t find anything offensive on your blog – you remind me of anyone who has ever had to go through the big change of living in a new country for a while, an experience that comes without an instruction manual, something often forgotten.
However, it’s a waste of time to compare ‘back home’ with whereever you are currently living.
Yup Kiwis are bad drivers – but try driving around Italy, France, Spain…hell, try driving in half the countries in the world and NZ is paradise suddenly.
And that, really, is the point – it’s pointless to compare, because in doing so you risk missing out on your time finding out the good differences, or worse, looking as though you’re a, (and I quote words used to describe myself when I first began travelling) ‘patronising biggot’
Surely seems some of your commentees fit neatly into that category – let us all hope we don’t have to endure one of their blogs.
Perhaps these are the types of people unable to accept that life just ain’t going to be the same everywhere and that sadly loads of places are perfectly happy with their faults…
Fortunately I have learnt, perhaps the hard way, to look ahead, not backwards, and that difference is often one of the very best things about living in a new country, hell, I’ve even learnt to enjoy drinking new beers.
Aucklander said
As a born, breed and proud New Zealander I have to say that your blog is fantastic & in your personal opinion honest!
As a country I believe that we don’t take criticism to well. True story.
New Zealanders are all such proud, patriotic people who are from a small landmass but have a huge ego and for a very good reason – New Zealanders have achieved a lot in the past and will continue to do so in the future.
We are all so proud and therefore possibly think we deserve just a little bit of credit for the bigger things that NZ is famous for.
As for the whole love hate relationship between NZ & Oz. I secretly think that we all love each other;) but just don’t want to admit to this. Every healthy relationship needs a bit of harmless banter to keep the spark alive.
To all those kiwis that took the blogs to heart – lets show that we are the bigger people in all of this and don’t go away with one of those ‘chups’ on your shoulders. Take it as you would dish it out, we all know how we love to do this don’t we?
Aroha & Blessings to all.
Max said
Lived in NZ for 20 yrs – love the place with all its quirks and character. You have to dig under the surface to really understand the people, the place and the culture.
Most Kiwi’s I know can laugh at the tongue in cheek swipes – that rivalry happens on and of the sporting field.
Inferior – I can’t see it myself. I think most Kiwi’s can see the funny side (except when it comes to Rugby when all bets are off). Bigger is not necessarily better. As I see it good things come in small packages and NZ is one of the best.
For lifestyle, warmth and great coffee I’d be there in a heartbeat.
Still, it is interesting to see what will get our proverbial knickers in a twist.
Its all good fun.
Bartman said
Sense of humour intact! Keep taking the piss guys. I’m a Kiwi, and I get the joke!
Mind you, you know what they say, It’s funny ’cause it’s true!
Chris said
New Zealanders have always had difficulty at laughing at themselves but this is not because of any inherrant personality flaw, it is simply because we are out of practice. For generations we haven’t needed to laugh at ourselves because it has been much easier to laugh at the goings on over the Tasman. The list of histerical personalities that create Australian culture (for lack of better word) is endless, Pauline Hanson, Bubbling Bob Hawk, Bill ‘Get him up here I wanna boof him’ Lawry, Gordon Lyons (google him if you haven’t it hilarious), did I mention Pauline Hanson and of course there that fantastic practical joke we played on you in the 80′s, Jo Bjelke-Petersen.
We are trying to get better though, we are making efforts to look inward and this is why you can’t buy any Australian newspapers over here anymore, we are cutting off our supply and going cold turkey.
So on behalf of all kuwi’s I welcome you to our quirky little nation and trust you enjoy your stay her and I am sure that after 2,000 have asked you for a small chups at your drive through window you will no longer find it funny, heck, you may even ditch your own horrendously nasal rising inflection and start sounding like one of us.
Hugs and Kusses,
Chris.
Kristy said
hey bloggers!
i think yr blog is a hoot.. I feel the same way about your country…Nothing wrong with Australia, australians on the other hand…. anyway your countrys the best in the world and it wld be completely unaustralian to think otherwise..right?
Boomshanka said
Heya… found yer blog this morning… yeah, nice work – i likes x2.
I’m a Kiwi who loves his country… and the stuff posted here is the kind of banter i give my mates all the time… a bit of a ribbing… makes our friendship stronger… well it better – those dicks ;1
I can’t stand it when my fellow countryPerson or anyone else even can’t take a joke or needs to resort to insults or thinks they’re above being made fun of… get the F. over it!
Anyways… gotta go… there’s a nice looking ewe giving me the eye…
Kate said
I came here from the article and I’m so embarrassed to be a Kiwi right now. Awesome blog, dude. Some people do have a sense of humour…
Rebecca said
I like this, it’s funny, not very factual, love the fact that it has got under a lot of skin, it means we still love the place!
Nathan said
I’m going to start a blog called ‘feeshincheeps’
Danae said
Heh heh heh, I just found out about your website because of an article on stuff news. The article went on about how angry you’ve made us kiwis. They went on to report their disgust at some of the things you’ve said and i was already laughing my head off.
Kiwi’s should know by now that Aussies and Kiwi’s have a sibling relationship: of course where gunna petend we hate each other when we’re competing against each other, but when it comes to the world, we’ll stick together.
That’s how it goes. People’s need to get over it. It’s just another aussie giving the kiwi’s shit. We’d do the same if we were over there. And it’s funny!
(ps – NZ’s better than Auzzy!! :P )
Julia Armstrong said
Kiwi born and bred.
Your blog is great.
Not sure why so many muppets are getting so upset (well, i am sure actually…idiots)
Richie said
Your blogs stink just as must as Rotorua. Suck Dorklanders aren’t the most intelligent of New Zealand’s population. But to be fair, it’s infested with asians and indians, so what more could you expect!?
Some of the stuff you say about New Zealanders is a valid point to some extent, but you Ausies honestly don’t know what you’re on about.
Have you tried Steinlager before? It’s one of the best lagers in the world. CD draught is huge here, along with Tui. Personally i’m not a beer drinker, but i’ve tried Victoria shitters and Tasman shitters. They are both crap.
You have your outlook on us as New Zealanders yes…? Bust out the velcro and fuck a sheep? Am i right?
Well we have the same kind of outward thoughts of conception toward you blokes.
Personally, i see you Australians as Kangaroo shagging beer gut lazy pricks that sit on the front porch of your redneck desert home laying back the shit that you call “Victoria Bitters” which from what i take is made from steak which was roasted under a fat man’s armpit while he runs then the juice is then extracted into a blender and blended with some of Australia’s finest shoes…..
Honestly, you guys need to learn how far is too far. Why can’t Kiwis and Kangas get along? We should be brothers in arms, yet we fight a war of words to pervey dominance….
@NZers who are offended, you guys needa lighten up. Don’t get angry, show some pride guys. Actually remark about how you feel about them. They are telling us how they feel, show them how WE feel!
@Australians, Fair game guys. If you like to think all that shit about NZ, then don’t come here. It’s so much nicer and greener here than Aus will ever be. But cheers for your opinions anyway.
Jess said
This is funny…Lived there for 4 years (grey times a plenty – weather, people, attitudes)…you hit the nail on the head…do not dare criticise/make attempts at humour you will face the wrath – there’s a MISSIVE chup on their shoulders…what strikes the most is they claim to be so patriotic yet the minute one of their sporting teams (black caps,sticks…hole?) loses they absolutely CANE them…they take themselves and their country way too seriously…Australians do NOT give a shit about New Zealand…it’s not their fault…they should pipe down and stop trying to get us to…the more you whine, the more we’ll take the piss…must say most comments by kiwis on this blog restoring my faith…nice.
Andrea said
Good luck with the blog. As there isn’t much stuff on her yet, I guess your still new to the country, hope you have a great time getting to learn all about the Kiwi way – that’s if a speeding drunk 15 year old doesn’t mow you down on the roads :).
We’ve all been new places and poked fun at the customs. I remember struggling to separate a trolley at the supermarket in the UK and being informed by a stranger walking passed to “don’t be so cheap love”. At the time I was pissed that some rude bastard had come up and called me a tart, I didn’t think my outfit was that bad. But now I just look back and laugh.
Turns out you had to pay a pound to separate the trolleys – this point would have been made clearer to me if the writing on the box on the trolley hadn’t been rubbed off.
Dylan Herbert said
Haha, funny stuff.
Don’t let the media frenzy fool you, most of us Kiwis are probably rolling our eyes at them too. At least, I’d like to think so.
Take it easy, oh cousin of mine in the overly long trousers..
jblp said
shot bro, nice blog :)
Tumbrella said
Cracking stuff guys – love your work
http://tumbrella.com.au/
Mab said
To my fellow NZer’s and our stupid paper who rarely publish anything newsworthy (the Herald)
Get over yourselves and look up the definitions of sarcasm and satire.
A proud kiwi and resident of ‘soulless Auckland’
Haley said
Oh ok so I guess you can pick and choose what comments go on your site because you want to give a one sided opinion ….. great. You have got to expect some sort of rude comments if you write such a one sided and frankly horrible comments about NZ. If you can’t handle being told what people think don’t write silly things about someone else’s home.
Richard said
Mate. I’m a Kiwi living in New Zealand and all I can say is keep it coming. If there was any more proof needed that we live in a quiet corner of the world where nothing happens it would have to be the retarded and over the top reaction that your blog received. For anyone reading this who is not a kiwi or who has not lived in Nu Zilind, understand one thing – if you fail at school, have no friends, suffer from personality disorders, have absolutlely no sense of humour,and have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old you can come to New Zealand and be a reporter. Newspapers, TV, Radio, take your pick. For any New Zealanders who were really and actually offended by the blog – please leave. Go to Australia were bitching, moaning, and demanding a “fair suck of the sav” is a national passtime. Leave us in peace drinking a pint of Emmersons 1812 Pale ale, a bottle of Epic. Just not anything from DB – the crap is vile.
Julie said
Only just having found this blog (thanks to all the publicity it generated) I have to say, I’ve never laughed so much in my life. To those who are upset – Jesus Christ people, get a freakin life. LOL
BTW, I live in Auckland, I’m not the least bit offended
Ray said
Guys love this blog, people need to harden up
whetu said
I was a little disappointed when I read your blog. :( Where’s the unfair, abusive ridicule that I was lead to expect from the media reports?
Pull yourself together, you Aussies. Can’t you think of anything really mean to say about us? Like we all wear mullets and jandals with our stubbies?
Please try harder.
Chey said
Hi there,
I’m a kiwi living in London and I have to say I have no problem with your comments. I think we have to be aware that humour varies with location. An analogy using cricket: For us Kiwis the underarm ball was considered cheating, but in Australia it was sportsmanship. The same can be said for over the top sledging, the decoding of rugby lineout’s using the referee microphones, and the loss of the RWC hosting rights. All wrong on morality grounds for Kiwis and OK for Aussies – We should be proud of our differences!
Kelly said
Hi,
I just wanted to say that having first heard about the comments on this blog through the Herald website, I thought it seemed you were being a bit harsh and to be honest should move back to your own country if ours is so shit. When I first saw this article I tried to look at your website but for some reason could not open it. Having now seen the blogs and read the whole lot IN CONTEXT, I have changed my point of view and think it is a massive overreaction from our ridiculously politically correct country. It really is just taking the piss and since we love to do it right back I don’t see the problem. As you said in one blog it is the insults and piss-taking between NZ and Oz that make it such a great relationship, kind of reminds me of the relationship between siblings.
I really hope people who are leaving negative comments have read your whole posts not just the snippets from the Herald as it tells a whole different story.
Roli said
I think you would have got a different response if you were NZer’s making fun of NZ. Taking the piss out yourself is fun – taking the piss out of others is just mean. Personally I think you were probably bullied both at school and at home which gave you an inferioity complex and now you feel that you need to bully others so you can feel like a real man.
Mereana said
Ok so given that this was on the news thought i would check it out. Being born and bred in new zealand i am proud to call myself a new zealander also of being maori so unless your were using it as a pun at the title of you blog Kai is food please if you intend to use our language use the correct spelling. However all you KIWIS out the get the hell over it so what if they wanted to post their views on our country they intitled to their opinion its nothing worse then the crap we give ourselves everyday. Kia Kaha guys this blog is awesome and hillarious definatly better then the stupid ‘BEACHED WHALE’ Skit.
Pete said
Hey mate,
I am an Aussie born and bred, I lived in UN ZED for three year’s, and I just have to say after reading your blog’s I think you should turn this into a book, this is some funny shit! And the truth behind it is all is it is a bloody good laugh, Auckland is the worst city I have ever been too as well!!! don’t take any notice of the people who are offended by this, cause they probably have not been anywhere else. The funny thing is when you talk to kiwi’s about Aus they bag us just as much, if not more and don’t get them started on sport’s there the greatest, just can’t win anything is all ha ha keep on writing man…
Nessie said
I’m born and bred NZ. Great blog, very funny. Not sure what the fuss is about but the publicity can only be a good thing. Perhaps DB would like to advertise on your site what with all the hits you’ll be getting.
Stu said
Can’t believe the national furore your blogs have caused. Browsing your website, it’s pretty easy to recognise that it is tongue-in-cheek. NZ’ers have such a HUGE inferiority complex (like a mountain on their shoulders), especially when it comes to anything Aussie. It really is a joke how this has become national news. Would somebody bagging Sydney on a website even make one line on the last page of a free rag anywhere over there? Lighten up and have a laugh – most of the comments are true!
Tom said
Hi,
Although your comments are meant tongue in cheek being an aussie you must understand the pride at which both aussies’ and kiwis’ hold in their countries. I do think tho if you are going to come to NZ and then bag it why stay? And on the hops issue, try coming down south and trying Renaissance Brewery in Blenheim then on to BrewMoon, Amberly then down to Twisted Hop, Three Boys, Harringtons in Christchurch then onto Emersons even deeper in the south (apologies to any microbrewers I missed). You will find if you step way from the big two that hops are alive and well. Although for someone living in auckland the home of the blow your head off with hops Epic Brewery and the heavenly Galbraiths Cask brewery you need to get out more. Also “tongue in cheek” any country that can export horse piss labelled “Fosters” really must blog on the state their own big breweries before NZ.
Simon said
Ha! New Zealanders are well known for being extremely precious about how the rest of the world perceive us – no matter how much you say you like the place, if you say one negative comment, that’s what ends up as the lead item on the TV news. Small country? Yup. Chip on shoulder about being small? Yup.
From a patriotic New Zealander who has lived abroad – perhaps that’s the difference.
mikeauknz said
Hi Mate..
I have been living here on and off for around 9 years working on a series of complex project “which I can confirm at last now only has foreigners working on them as they now need to be finalized at last..”
PLUS I am from Melbourne..I can also confirm like many others that I have meet that we agreed totally agree with all your observations,
The media pitch against your story is so typical, to go off and get some academic who is not living and meeting the community to comment to counter your observations –that is a bit like saying global warming is not happening as i am not sun burnt and all is well…HA Ha
The smart ones have left here and will not be coming back except for family funerals…
Ever week the WHITE Flights as they are called are leaving permanently with around 1,000 on them…
The brother or perhaps the sister in-law gets the inside on projects, employment, appointments etc..
You must have a genetic inner circle of friends which you can not leave or you are attacked with knives in the back…for joining another more cosmopolitan interesting group …
The community and street life is dead, only the imports are having fun and have bonded together.. that is all government funded..carnivals sort of a thank you for voting for me..gift it all seems…
Some but not all of the local woman are often destructive, bitter and twisted and manipulative..
Everything is ripped off and copied, TV Shows etc etc
No creative original thoughts, the town planners and info structure builders have a blueprint from the 1960 they xerox everywhere to save cost..
The direct tax is up to 39% and combined indirect tax is around another 18% to 22% rates Plus they have other many hidden layers and add on’s from multi layers of councils and government services which all makes individual wealth creation impossible yes impossible.
The Government is the biggest and only real industry and spender here..
The power is only with in the bureaucratic processes, political clubs and academics and is blood line secured….
It is still so very white and shifting to female domination by appointment of more of the above…talent and proven innovative skills not required, just loop last years plans and do the forecast and all will be good…
The tourist market is now even becoming government controlled, where you must go and pay for entry, how long you can spend there, they even now have restricted to certain shopping times for Chinese tourist..
There seems to be an over focus on creating criminals for the media as that makes up the bulk of the news service…
They number of people I have meet who are on the Domestic Purposes Benefit and are now at university even doing a second degree is amazing..
Mike Williams who was the Head of the NZ Labour party once said, “NZ is a great country to be poor in..”
Finally 97% of NZ die basically Broke…
Sally Fielding said
Hello,
Firstly I am an Australian that has been living in this country for 3 years now. I am utterly disgusted that bloody kiwis have blown this out of proportion. If they (the press) actually bothered to read the blog properly, they would understand that it is not saying ‘all kiwis’. It really is typical and I would like to think that the kiwis that have a sense of humour would laugh at this and say ‘gee that does sound like us some of the time’. good on you for doing this blog, I fully support you and I cannot wait for the next instalement.
cheers
SCARE! said
call that a blog? this is a blog: http://www.scarecrew.co.nz
turn the comments back on and get what u deserve..
pussy aussies.. nothing new.
it wasn’t even that amusing, im shocked that so many kiwis took it seriously..
well, ur blog is average, and u have done nothing to take advantage of the media-related traffic. nice job guys.
Ness said
OMG!!! What a hoot. Come on people, get your heads out of your asses and laugh, cause this shit is funny. Sheesh, certain people need to lighten up. If you can’t laugh at yourself, there’s something wrong with you. Keep up the great work, this site rocks!!!!!!!
Another hobbit said
I didn’t bother to read all the abusive comments.
Heck, if some of my fellow hobbits have
a) an inferiority complex
b) no sense of humour
c) don’t realise having water all the time is really useful
please accept my humble apologies on behalf of our impoverished “wanna be 8th shire”
We luv yas, really we do.
without you roaches, mexicans, flatheads, two-heads and banana benders to pick on, we’d REALLY be stuck for a good laugh, and then we’d have to find someone new to play all these ball games with, somewhere to go for cheap holidays, run our own V8 Supercars series……shoot, we need you, please don’t give up on us, we’re learning, we really are.
ps We like our “wife beer” without too many hops, and while we’re about it, apart from a spot of over-priced grannge, ya vino is as bad as that XXXX and tooheys swill you dare to call beer…… I mean, you’d give “Bud Light” a bad name…..
ps, we own most of your breweries, and we DID let them keep making your regular tipple – so be grateful cobber.
Aucklanders aren’t a bunch of soul-less hobbits for the most part, it’s just that a large percentage have the same mentality about “nearby New Zealand” as yanks do to the rest of the world. We cope with them, so should you; get hard, be strong.
We do dress badly . . . . . but then again . . . hey, I’ve been everywhere there man . . . where do ya think we learned it . . . . . .
And if you promise to behave yourselves, we’ll send you over a few shiploads of water so you can wash your cars, and for goodness sake, PLEASE take showers . . water really isn’t such a scary thing.
and PPS – congrats on a really funny blog.
Muz said
Thanks for your blog and your latest post. I’m a Kiwi and love being a Kiwi and think you’ve got us nailed. Your blog is laugh out loud funny! Keep up the good work.
Dave said
Jesus we need to lighten up.PC bullshit!! Cheer up. Looks like alot of people have not travelled to me.
CP said
As a born and bred Kiwi I would like to say it appears to me that one needs to remove the earnest fern wedge between ones buttock cheeks and blow it out their ar$e!! Are you for real? How can you be upset at this witty and honest review of our country? What ever happened to “if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?”. C’mon guys, dig deep and find that sense of humour, if you can’t then just don’t read the blogs!! Gee, it really is that simple. Lame-O’s!!
Willis said
Yes indeed, the NZ media can be pretty idotic at times. Most of our ‘journalists’ are far from the the wordsmiths they claim to be, hell they cant even recognize a trap they have set for themselves. Its the old story – if you cant laugh then you’ll cry. So have a laugh kiwi’s! After all its just a stupid f*%king Aussie, and who cares what they think?
Lisa said
I haven’t had such a good laugh in ages :-) (yep, I’m a former ex-pat kiwi). DO NOT stop writing!!!!! You’re observations are almost gonzo-esk. You should sell advertising on here
Sara said
I guess just how defensive the article on the Herald was shows the majority of New Zealanders lack of sense of humour.
There are some good ones out there.. they are just alittle hard to find (hiding in their hobbit holes)
Cam said
I’ve been very lucky – I’ve travelled all around the world and seen dozens of countries. Every one with it’s own character. When I finally arrived home to NZ it was because this was still the best place in the world I’d found, despite the quirks of the Kiwi culture. This really is the best place in the world, for me.
I agree which many of the negative observations you’ve made – but what I think would help is if you acknowledged the good with the bad. Kiwi’s are very proud of our little country, and we traditionally don’t look kindly on bullies – we’d rather support the under dog. While you’ve made many neutral observations and several positive ones as well, the blog is well weighted down with negative sentiment, and that makes you look like one of those bullies we don’t like. But if you give a fair, balanced view, I reckon you’ll be given respect by your new neighbours.
Wayne said
Hahaha I think this is a real sweet blog, as a kiwi living in Japan reading your views about NZ is great, all my friends here are envious about NZ and everyone wants to go there. The rivalry that NZ & Auz have makes our 2 countries so much more unique, all the americans thought we actually hated eachother and wondered why I was friends with the other aussies that live here. One of the big things is that we can kinda understand eachother cause we have similarities in our cultures just like the US and Canada. The haters out there need to lighten up, NZ is a primo country, but, from an outsiders view we are alittle quirky I suppose. Anyways keep up the good work and enjoy the HB, eskdale rocks man. oh yeh about the driving you should come to Japan I shit my pants everyday driving here!!
Michael said
Hello! I followed you back from my incoming links list (I made the WordPress theme you’re using, so I get quite onto quite a few folks that way), and then followed through to the news articles about your site – I had a good chuckle. Wow, people sure love to get offended, don’t they? Keep up the good work.
jo said
I would have liked to read some of the negative responses also…may have made for a good laugh. but it is the small minded responses like those that cause ppl to judge kiwis as infantile. Please this blog is one persons view..not that of all ozzies or the world. As an expat Kiwi..living in Oz…le the man have his views in peace…what happened to freedom of expression?…shit retaliate if u must and set up a blog called I didn’t mean to steal them…or something if u must…honestly, i found the blog humourous at times…Go the fresh air in hawkes Bay….Napier rulz…LOL
Tony said
When the rest of the world drank from the Gene pool, Kiwis mostly gargled.I am a Kiwi thats lived in Aus for many years.After returning, and 6 yrs later, i find myself on an Island with little humour and very few prospects of being able to get back up to speed to rejoin a society that can laugh at itself and enjoy life.
charlie smyth said
great website, keep it up! as a kiwi living in Auckland, I wondered if you can mention the not so sterling driving of our city….nearly get knocked off my bike each day and abused!!! reckon you are on to a good thing though, and your website has made headlines around the world, well done!
Colin said
Don’t you mean a puss take!! You’re right though some of us Kiwis are a bit precious at times. Having lived in Melbourne for 3 years before returning home I’m not sure why you’re yearning to read The Age while you’re here. Go to an internet cafe and just use the Age website if you must read some of their garbage!!
Ruth said
Im a born n bred kiwi, love this country but i have no problem with this blog.
Its HILARIOUS, and i have to say, apart from the pavlova thing, its pretty spot on! Fellow Kiwis just have to suck it up a bit, we aren’t perfect, Auckland Is reasonably soulless, and at the end of the day, why take one set of Australians so seriously?! chill out. Its Funny!
Tito said
Heya
Liking the blog, some of your comments are truthfull. Sorry to hear about the negative comments. I wouldn’t blame ordinary Kiwi’s though. A lot of this inferiority complex stems from our media…most of which is Australian owned (Hmmm Coincidence?). Anyway, to anyone else who’s going to have a go, this person lives here, so we musn’t be that bad?
exausinnz said
this fuss has nothing to do with the average kiwi or aussie. what a dumb story in the nzherald i just read. all it does is emphasise the point of your blog… and a few tourism operators get a word in to try and pimp their jobs. they never have anything useful to write about so they took your blog out of context. I lived in NZ for 2 years and agree with all your posts, especially the driving ones.
Bea said
I’m a kiwi and i love my home. I really dont see the big deal about your blogs they arent as harsh as everyone is making it out to be! I never even herd of this site until i read about it in the herald, then i sent it to my friends for a laugh at how serious we can be! Good or bad publicity is better then no publicity i guess.
Must say i love some of the comments from the readers “Cripes, I mean the dingo obviously stole your brain cells” haha classic! you def ruffled some feathers.
Of course our country and the people are different to Aus, thats because we are new zealanders and this is new zealand… huh go figure!
Rob said
Hi native kiwi here, looks like someone at the herald takes stuff a bit too personally and needs to chill the f*&k and stop attacking your’e blogs.
Hit the nail on the head on alot of things man funny site keep it up :)
deelg said
Haha – I’ve been living here about a year from the UK. I had a few months of acclimatisation pains (missing family, missing a pint in an old village pub). However, I’ve come to LOVE NZ, and find myself in that “I’d rather live in NZ than UK (way better quality of life)”, but being so far away from family is HARD!!
What makes me sad? When I tell the Kiwi’s I know that I want to go home one day (work, colleagues, friends etc) they all take it as a personal affront to NZ. Why is that? Can I not love this country and my own? Why is it offensive to leave NZ to go home?
Anyways – I love your blog, I can see it’s tongue and cheek. I think we should celebrate the differences and “kiwi-isms” – they are what makes NZ, well NZ!
Andy said
I can’t understand what all the fuss is about, these observations are nothing new and, more to the point, are actually funny… Must be a slow news day in NZ? But then, if no one is chopping off hands with a sword on P, we only have sport and the weather to keep us mildly entertained…
Craig said
Ah nu! Us Kiwi’s are beached as bru!
I mean all this silly PC indignant huffing and puffing… over a few comments… it is just not cricket.
Which reminds me… I need some more ‘under-arm’ deodorant…
Steve said
The only thing more ridiculous than my fellow kiwi’s not taking this lightheartedly, is the fact that this has now been run as news by the NZ Herald…
This country makes me sad sometimes. :)
Jimby said
Got to say that I love this blog.
As a Kiwi who has recently returned having lived elsewhere for most of my life I can agree with most of your blog.
And most Kiwis don’t seem to get tongue-in-cheek ribbing when you are taking the piss out of how things are done here.
It isn’t to say it is all bad – the country is pretty much the best place in the world – but there are some “peculiarities” which do make good blogging!
Steve said
I should add (purely in jest) that at least we can stand up to our government regarding ridiculous censorship laws :D
Ny said
As another expat Aussie living in NZ (and yes… I am going back soon before anyone suggests that!), I LOVE your website!! I just wished it had been around when I first moved over as it would have saved me a lot of questions!
I also fully agree with your comment about how kiwis “simultaneously love us and loathe us”! Big brother syndrome methinks!
Pete M said
You’ve enraged a fellow blogger to insult his own! http://editingtheherald.blogspot.com/2009/03/new-zealanders-are-wankers-and-rugby-is.html
Is that the first sign of a self-deprecating sense of humour starting to peak out from under the humourless-protective-kiwi-blanket?
Leon said
I’ve lived in both NZ (where I was born) and Australia for some time. I left NZ when I was a teenager and returned after 12 or so years to NZ a couple of years ago to reconnect with home and family. It only took 6 months before I wanted to leave for Australia again.
I was quite shocked to say the least with the way NZ and kiwis handle themselves from politics to every day life. At any obsticle or problem comes a lot of complaints and murmurs of discontent but even when offered a solution on a silver plater the common response is to say something along the line of “Oh yeah but it’ll only…” and forget about a solution.
So while it’s all too obvious NZ is completely crippled by it’s serious sense of inferiority, it’s the apathy of the people that really lets the country down. It seems too often the default is we’re not capable nor worthy. This isn’t a great foundation for a nation.
Whether you’re a Kiwi or born overseas the opposition to even the smallest critique on NZ or NZ life will be heavily repremanded. To me the media getting hold of this is just as much about that tendency as much as the NZ media not needing to cover real issues because Kiwi’s simply don’t seem to care.
B said
I think the angry comments are from the people that just read the media articles and havn’t actually read you blog.
And for all you people that said New Zealanders are over sensitive etc, I would just call it patriotism.
rach said
hi there I went to your site with some trepidation after seeing it being discussed on morning tv as an expat kiwi living in Oz off and on for 24 years I feel I am entitled to make a judgement call the one thing that upsets me more than an Allblack loss is expat kiwis who have been here in oz for all of five minutes and then spend every waking minute bagging there country of birth Oz is a great place but so is NZ we are livng in the lucky countries no matter what side of the ditch your on This site is tongue in cheek very funny and lets face it right now we could all do with a laugh cheers to all OZKIWIs xoxo
Briar said
I’m a kiwi who doesnt mind the blog. I’ve travelled and lived overseas and found myself miserable and homesick. People feel comfortable with what they know, difference does not = bad and preference does not = wrong! At the end of the day no country is better or worse than any other, and Australians and NZers are a lot more similar than we like to admit!
Larrissa said
Hey, i was reading the paper this morning and its where i came across an piece on this website!! The way they talked about it in the paper made me think you guys were wankers (they used all negetive comments) But after reading your blogs and reading all the comments in context its not as bed as it seemed. To me it comes across as ‘sibling’ rivalry.
Malcolm Cox said
Hey, just checking you out after reading about this in the news. Typical journos trying to make a story out of nothing. Must be a slow news day in the world. Have to say you are pretty much spot on with your comments – especially those about Auckland. Glad you enjoyed Wellywood and our unique weather :). Just one or two comments – if you don’t like the beer that’s your fault for drinking DB, Tui or Lion. Try something else, there’s plenty of excellent boutique brewers. I can recommend Epic, Three Boys, Emersons. Next time you’re in Welly call in to the Malthouse and you’ll find more hops than a bunny farm. Lastly, you can’t get the SMH or The Age – it’s the 21st Century – there’s a little thing called the internet!
Anyway, welcome to NZ (at least some of us have a sense of humour)
Nicole said
Why isn’t anyone blaming the stupid Australian media for portraying this website so negatively against NZ when in fact if you read the website & its blogs there are more nice things said about NZ than nasty. When I read the newspaper article I was angry (being a Kiwi and all) but when I read the website it wasn’t even that bad, rather funny actually. I’m sure one of the many Kiwi’s over here in OZ will start one about living in OZ & I can’t wait to read it.
Mark said
You guys are awesome!! Keep it up!! NZers need to loose the shit defensive attitude. I’m a Kiwi and I love the banter. You Dingos and Wombats are all good, even with with your poor work ethic, arrogant nature and a common tendancy to drink too much, we love ya’ll deep down inside. If you weren’t there things wouldn’t be the same. Living next to Aussie is like surfing with oldies. You’re guaranteed to look good!!!
Gooba said
Dont know what all the hoo haa is about , very funny and informative.Being a kiwi who has made the move to Brissy 2 years ago , it has inspired me to write a blog for other kiwis moving here
Keep up the good work
Steve said
Great work (from a kiwi)…
I’m from Invercargill in NZ and we take the most crap than any other area in NZ – from other NZers. We have a laugh, we put up with it bacause we just don’t care… It’s just a shame that the further north you get, the more inflated our heads become and the more we react to what is obviously some well-aimed, light-hearted jibes.
On behalf of all the kiwis that aren’t wankers, sorry about all the dickheads.
NB: Rotorua smells like arse – this just cannot be denied.
Cheers Steve
nzer said
im from nz i dont see what the prob wit ur blog is….haha
nzer said
oh and bugz as far as i know most new zealanders have a severe overconfidence issue to the point that they are litterally BECOME chuck norris.
Russ Aiton said
Hi,
First off, I’m neither Kiwi nor Aussie. I live here in NZ, minding my own business, integrating with the locals as much as either they or I want to. I watch with a bemused cock-of-the-hat at the sibling mud-slinging rivilary between the two afore mentioned nations. How refreshing to see and if a true pointer was needed as to the true nature of the relationship, we would be reminded of the immediate compassion and empathy shown by the smaller, but by no means diminished, nation to that of its larger neighbour during the horrific bushfires.
Gary said
Fantastic! It is everything my wife and I have been thinking but not sharing. NZ is great but the people are just a little too serious especially when it comes to topics like NZ which is probably why every conversation starts with “So how do you like New Zealand?” It is amazing that this made the press which says much about what makes the news here. That said, I would not have found this blog if you had not generated so much interest,
Roger said
I find Kiwis tend to be a little over-sensitive to criticism of their beautiful country. They certainly do seem to view their little patch as being an unspoiled paradise. The sheer number of Kiwi’s heading to Australia would suggest that Kiwis are more than aware of the problems they face.
By and large, Kiwis are an incredibly friendly and hospitable bunch who could see the humour in fushnchups.co.nz.
Keep going with the blog, someone will always take the cross-Tasman rivalry a little too seriously.
Eamon Rood said
I’m a kiwi who has been living in the States for nearly a year now, and as the enduring popularity of The Daily Show and The Onion show, Yankees are not afraid to laugh at themselves. It’s such a shame that New Zealanders cannot. It’s pathetic that comments on a blog can invoke a national response. Ignore the narrow minded fools who attack you. I think you were pretty spot on.
Southener said
Great blog. Very well written and witty.. I’m a kiwi who has no problem with it. Those getting their knickers in a twist need to lighten up and get a sense of humour. Most of what you’ve said is true anyway! I can’t stand the stench of Rotorua either, Auckland is totally overrated and our roads ARE crazy. Spend more time in Otago, Queenstown and MacKenzie Country – we’re the real NZ anyway.
Di said
When the self-righteous indignation regarding your site, exploded all over the media I knew it would be an Aussie tongue-in-cheek job. I have just checked out your posts, & for the life of me I have NO idea what all the ridiculous fuss is about. I’m just disappointed you didn’t really get stuck in! Far to many Kiwis are terminally po-faced & need to get a life. I’m a Kiwi & LOVE the Aussie/Kiwi joke thing. I lived in Oz for 8 years & adored the brash Aussie sense of humour. ! Please ignore the tedious, parochial, delusional whiners…keep up the good work!
Jo said
Bloody hell I dont know what all the fuss is about. My partner is an Australian and he gets shit all the time from Kiwis about being one. So us Kiwis should just suck it up! We can give it but can’t take it? I like your blog and my partner would love it too! Keep going it’s funny!
KiwiAZN said
LOL…
As a fellow migrant, especially from asia, there are some things about NZ and kiwis that strike a nerve or just seem plain stupid at times, so i get the jokes.
C’mon guys. If we think about it, really, if Glorious Aotearoa was really that bad, why the heck did migrants decide to come here to make a better life? We could have just stayed home, or gone to Oz…
Gen said
I’m born/bred akl’der- visiting to see what the fuss is abt (not as offended as the Herald prepared me for)- love your entries so far,theres a degree of ignorance but hey everything’s new to you.. freedom of speech whtever – akl’ders can’t take criticism (which is why we never improve) and the lamest fashion sense (Come Wellington-its less commercialised)- but at least we aren’t following the US trends like Sydney/Melbourne like conformed bunnies..where everyone dresses the same. Nevertheless, i think being Politically correct is what got us into this mess in the first place.big ups for the Fresh New Perspective.
William said
Well haven’t you caused a storm? You should have known they take themselves far too seriously and they have a pathological hatred of all things Aussie (except the Aussie Dollar). Good on you for stirring them up. Keep up the good work>
Roger said
Reality check required. Sure NZ may not be the most sophisticate country in the world, but nor is Australia. That’s the best part of this website – it’s a joke – it’s ironic.
“Kath and Kim” is hysterical because it’s all true.
Short trousers? Take a look at any CBD in Australia and you’ll find bogan central. Shorts and thongs (victims call these ‘slides’ so to be trendy), bad logo T-shirts by the millions (since I’m an individual), and most girls are overweight with muffin tops cascading over tight shorts with the must have trap stamp. Then they open their mouths!
Yeah, strolling down Surfer’s Paradise or King St Melbourne on a Saturday night is just like the French Riviera or Rome on a hot summer night. Watch out for the vomit and fist in your face. And no, walking down the main street of 100 meters in Noosa doesn’t count.
Didn’t one of our former PM call Australia “…the arse end on the world”? Now that’s honest and looking in the mirror.
The honest thing about Aussies is they have the best terms in the world to describe themselves. Bogan and Dags.
I can understand not getting a copy of The Washington Post or The Guardian, but The Age. Here’s a thought – read it on-line.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Gavin said
It’s Kia Ora mate, you might get it right next time.
Just made the opposite move, from Wellington to Melbourne, and theres many things NZ does better, including public transport and actually having EFTPOS in most stores which OZ strangly lacks(much like a 3rd world country!)
Craig said
Fuckin funny! Tell ya what bro, the media in NZ (well, everywhere really) makes me laugh. Stupid, stupid people!
I’m very proudly a Kiwi, been in the West Island (Melbourne) for 3 years now, prolly go home in anouther couple. Truth – I am asked why I came to Aus in the first place….I tell’em it’s because they pay ore on the dole in aussie…the dumb fucks believe me!
Seriously, There is a shitload of things I can complain about in Aus (the price gouging, pisspoor service, the beer that is like making love in a canoe (fucking near water mate!), but it has its charms too…they pay more on the dole here mate!
And I do complain! Usualy about the underhand (arm) way things are done in the land of the young and free. But it’s done in fun, and poke plenty of crap back homeward too.
And look, for all those kiwis who are outraged…grow some fucking skin will you? I enjoy nothing better than to win just about any argument over the BBQ with the good old “you might beat us by 350 runs mate, but we don’t bowl underarm”!. We have always given the aussies shit, and sure as hell, they give it to us…but when it really matters, and push comes to shooting…the only bloke I’d have with me is an ANZAC – when that happens, no such thing as a kiwi or aussie – he is an ANZAC. And that is a truth.
Gavin said
Have read the rest of your blog, some funny stuff :)
Mikey said
ha after reading about this in the paper over in syd I was pretty pissed to say the least, thought it was just another dumb arse aussy whinging on like a yank, so I left a wee note telling you to piss off back home, now that I’ve finally been able to open your site and read what you’ve written I’ll be dammed if I can see what all the fuss is about!?! And actually I tend to agree with a few of the things said, Kiwi’s do tend to be abit touchy about a few things, mainly I think cause anything good either leaves or gets claimed by someone with a bigger mouth!
oh yeah I agree with the auckland description… I find sydney to be abit soulless as well (unless you’ve got cash)
anyway thanks for the giggles
ps are you still gonna try and tell me vb xxxx and tohoeeys are any better than Db, waikato or whatever the hell you’ve been drinking there?
tell em he’s dreaming!
Gordon said
I’m a Kiwi, livin in Australia. I’d like to apologize for the daftness of Prof Smith; what a dick!
The mutual antagonism between our countries peoples is for the most part of a jokey nature… and when it stops being so it’s either cause someone’s taken it too far or someone can’t take a joke… So good on you for learning to read & write and also for putting it to good use.
JustJack said
Haha… you’ve got an awesome site, don’t change a thing. I just read the article in the Herald and had to check out your website. Initially my thoughts were to find out who’s been causing such a fuss and to see what you jokers hVe been saying about us, having got here and reading your posts I’m absolutely loving it – it’s a hillarious and so true. We do need to learn to laugh at ourselves more so keep it up. If people actually read the posts they’d realise none of the comments were meant to be attacks. What a shame you don’t selling off your website aye, darnit .. next time aye. You should sell some printed shirts with your funny comments on em, and once you have enough material publish your posts in a book. You’ll make a fortune.
Well guys, cheers for the good reading and for the future laughs. All the best.
oooook said
goodness me, what an absolutely fantastic pr exercise that turned out to be!
I just came to have a nosy at what all the fuss was about, and am really embarrassed on behalf of the abusive comments some people have left on other stories.
Your humour has not bypassed us all. Just let that be known, those voices do not represent the masses.
John the Robert said
And once again the Kiwi inferiority complex comes out fill tilt. Good on ya – enjoy the free publicity. Tell us what you think of L&P. My American pallet thinks it tastes like ass – hope I’m still allowed to live here (Christchurch). johntherobert.blogspot.com
Richard said
I’ve spent enough time in NZ and Australia to be able to say, with some confidence, that Aussies and Kiwis are very similar. Though we know ourselves well enough to be able to identify some general differences, most nationalities view us as the same and even confuse our accents.
This whole “Trans-Tasman Rivalry” is just another in a long list of examples throughout history where people feel the need to adopt an “us vs them” mentality as a way of feeling a part of something. Same thing goes for provincial rugby. Go our team! Boo to the other guys! There are incredibly smart, educated and self-aware people in both countries, and each country has its unique problems.
Having read about this blog on a news website I was expecting something edgy and offensive; what I’ve found instead is a good but unremarkable blog that has handed out compliments along with criticisms.
People who take this blog as some kind of attack on Kiwi culture: grow up
People who are commenting on how Kiwi’s can’t take a joke: grow up. Most of the comments on here are from the vocal minority. People who aren’t reactionaries will probably read, have a little chuckle, then move on to something else without feeling the need to comment.
Adam said
I really do believe the kiwis who find this blog offensive have never left NZ. Try travelling see how the rest of the world live and then try to not see the funny side of this blog. I say good on you guys for injecting some humour into good ol new zealand. Life is to short to take this seriously.
Cate said
Good lord, the media does love to stir up a bit of trans-Tasman rivalry!
I’m a kiwi living in Melbourne, and like the other ex-pat commenters, I really can’t see anything wrong with what you’ve said.
Equally, I don’t know how funny I would have found Flight of the Conchords were I still in NZ…
keep it up – I think the majority are entertained, and as for the rest? gawd, every country has some of those people who need a humour injection!
Danielle said
Relax people, will ya?
It’s all jokes… and I totally get ya my friend.
Your blog is great and so is NZ!
D
jules said
I am a kiwi who has lived in sydney off and on for 10 years. In between times I spent 5 years in NZ and found I was constantly getting into strife for my humour or taking the piss, suffice to say I am back in Sydney.
I love NZ and love visiting but certainly think a lot of my fellow compariots need to: “harden the f*** up” to quote the infamous aussie; Chopper Reed.
Keep up the good work
rex said
An inferiority complex makes you sick? Dude, I say this as a friend, you may need to chill the fuck out.
I personally have always enjoyed the ocker sense of humour, like the sport Aussie Rules … nice one.
Andy said
Some kiwis may have issues, but as one that’s spent 4 years in the US and another 4 in the UK (seperated by 5 years back home) I disagree with most of the self-slagging that’s going on here.
I couldn’t wait to get back home – no people, fresh healthy food, a ‘commute’ of 10mins across town (except for Jaffa-ville), outdoor lifestyle, able to go barefoot anywhere without worrying about spit and nasty poisonous things, surf in the summer and snowboard in the winter without breaking the bank or wasting 2 days getting to either.
If you don’t like it, go back to Oz. And to the kiwis that think they don’t like, you can fug off and all. 12 months overseas and you might change your mind.
I’ve got a lot of Aussie mates, and know a lot of dickhead kiwis.
But my Aussie mates are the ones that can rise above sad, tired old sheep jokes and the rest.
Phar Lap and pavlova??? Are you fuggen kidding me? Both were about 100 years ago, get over it.
We’re a small country that really doesn’t have much say in the world. Why do Aussies continually compare themselves to us? Is it because you’re embarassed about how you totally fail to measure up against other countries of your size? Ie the US (although you do make a good 51st state), Canada, France, Brazil, Argentina, Russia, etc. Even Antarctica is more highly thought of and it’s only inhabited by penguins and a few anoraks.
Mike said
Most countries have the navel gazing ‘do you like me types’ in the populace and unfortunately they get air time in the press. Keep up the good work and the trans-tasman rivalry its healthy.
Keep phar lap i like binecrusher better anyway, we can share the Finns, the pav is only good with kiwifruit on top and god i hope Russell Crowe stays in Sydney.
Kiwis have sense of humour…….cept those who dont.
Em said
Umm, all seems pretty light on stuff to me, some selective editing in the newspapers led me to expect a bitter hate filled tirade, you let me down :-(
Stu said
Spot on. Can’t wait for your blog on NZ sport – particularly as a nation of Rugby Tragics. Makes even Australia’s nationwide sports obsession pale by comparison. They might even beat Melbournians.
Nick said
Hey Guys,
I am a Kiwi – and just wanted to say embarrassed at the way the country has responded….
Keep up the good work – if people cant laugh at themselves we are all in trouble!!!
Hope you have a grerat time over here and will be watching the blogs for a good laugh!
Karl said
I am Kiwi and I think your blog is funny, I got the link from the Dominion Post website, that may be why you are getting lots of hits. Chur. K.
Buzz said
I am an Aussie living in Indonesia and after living here for 10 years I have found a kindred spirit with KIWI expats also. Some of them are my best friends, and we can take the puss out of each other without any heartache. I find the ANZAC spirit alive and well, lets look for things in common to bridge the gap, e.g. how much we hate poms. Over here I consider a Kiwi as much as a compatriot as an Aussie.
Chuck said
Hi, my name is Chuck, I’m American and I kick some serious ass. When I go to NZ they like me over there. When I go to Australia, they practically want to be me over there down under. I don’t know, I still can’t even tell you guys apart. You have the same flags and everything. Remember you got to be nice to one another. Your neighbors! And remember this anyone messes with you, you call your big brother America and we’ll come and kick some ASS! I must say though I sure like eatin’ them Kangaroos over all them sheep, just my preference though. PEACE!
Cobbler said
great web site…very funny..
Katie said
Fair enough I say. Maybe Kiwis have got a bit over sensitive about all this. What’s even more strange that we are taking it all so seriously from people who come from a country that voted in John Howard for eleven years.
Rach said
LOVE IT!!! Not many kiwi’s will understand that SOME of this is a pisstake.. good on ya, keep up the finger pointing, it is amusing to see those “higher uppers” getting niggled!!
Kia Kaha!
BTW: you do realise Tasmania is full of convicts and inbreeds??? :)
Susan said
Brilliant site – I’m worried that my fellow kiwis have taken it so to heart – I thought we were meant to understand irony? In fact, I found your comments really rather positive on the whole – keep it up, clearly we need something to make us laugh and when they all finally get the humour, this could be it!
Jason said
G’day mate. Great site, hit the mark in so many ways. My wife and I moved here from Canberra a few years back. She is a kiwi so made it easier to blend in, but man what a country with funny ideals. We had a similiar experiences especially your SH5 blog, stay away from the Desert Highway at night. Keep up the good work and blogs
Matua JJ said
I found this site coz I heard us Kiwis were complaining about it, and I don’t know what the hell we’re on about. I, on behalf of all the whinging NZers, apologize for being such uptight little shyts. We joke about ourselves more than you have and most of your insults are clever and in some part true haha. Keep it up mate.
PS Thanks for the League World Cup
Dave said
The only reason people have gotten annoyed with you is because NZ jopurnalism is the world in the world. Also NZ Moaners are worse than the whinging Poms. If the media in NZ tells NZers to complain about something they will do it. God help them If they had to form their own opinions.
Tony said
Well, I read the Herald story and then read the last 50 or so comments to find that Kiwis aren’t upset at all???? In fact, we all seem to think your site is ok, maybe even quite funny at times. Now being from Tasmania I can understand why you would want to try to pretend there is somewhere else with even quirkier people. Ha ha. It must be hell being the butt of all jokes from other Australians :-D
Scott Marshall said
Ha Ha Ha, Brilliant little site. I moved to Rotorua from Scotland in 2007 and I love it (you get used to the smell), you just want to put your arm round NZ sometimes and tell it to lighten up a bit! I bet you can’t believe you made the national news!!
Emma said
I’m so sorry about my fellow countrymen. You’re taking the piss and on the whole, we get a bit touchy about that. Inferiority complex? Yup, and then some!
Tristan said
Boy, the reaction of my fellow country men is embarassing.. reaaaaaaly embarassing. The funny thing is, all the points you make about NZ culture (and legitimately I might add) are perfectly reflected in the response. The way a ribbing from a blog became a national issue (courtesy of our own gutter-press “the Herald”) is exactly what being “unworldly” describes. Having been travelling, ive been frustrated as hell returning to NZs perochial and hickish ways. Keep giving us crap, i love it!
JME said
Look its like this mate, you’re pretty well spot on. I was a kiwi for 29 years and finally saw the grass being greener (not literally you understand) across the ditch. Your comments particularly in relation to Auckland are essentially how it is, we were forced to live there for four painful years on grounds that its the only place in the nation where professionals can find any decent work. In fact your comments are tame compared with how I would describe the god forsaken place !! Zero public transport, extremely high crime, insane housing prices, terrible weather, arrogance everywhere, insane drivers, scummy shopping centres, etc etc etc. Not a lot going for it really is there? Well done, keep it up. Oh and btw Katie, don’t be too fast to out us Aussies for voting in John Howard for over a decade, who was your prime minister for the majority of that time and what did she (or more so it) do to your country? Ask yourself why 700 kiwis a week are moving to Aus?
Lea said
The Kiwis should be thanking you for the free publicity! Maybe the first lesson in ‘punching above your weight’ is a very healthy sense of humour.
Don’t stop now – you sound like you are just hitting your stride. Look forward to more….
Max said
Was reflecting on comment from Tom (sent 12.01pm today).
Actually Aussies feel the same way if someone bags Australia, except they are more blunt “if you don’t like it you can piss off back where you came from”.
Who would have though how much ‘noise’ you have created with your blog. You must be rapt. Actually I reckon you must really love NZ cause when you look at some of the photos you have posted and read some of the things you have written you are clearly taken with that small slice of Godzone, and I can understand why.
I for one am having a great time reading all the piss taking and humourous comments. Keep it coming folks.
tariq said
Hi have been here for nearly 3 years from the uk,
What is the big idea about giving way to cars on your right, when you are turning left into your road?????.
Can you explain why when at red lights you are waiting to turn left, lights turn to green ,you go and so do the F!#@!*G pedestrians who have a green walk light, its like dodge the walkers???
I suppose we can go on but we do love you all in NZ.
paora said
Just a very average blog – not worth any sort of fuss – slightly funnier than sheep jokes. Hope you enjoy your stay here. Take care that you don’t become one of us.
Jeff Kingsley said
I don’t understand how Kiwi’s can’t hear the difference – one woman, two woman instead of women – its spelt differently so why don’t they pronounce it differently – don’t their ears work ? And where does the “fush” come from – can’t they practice saying “fish” properly until they get it right. Their school teachers need a kicking.
Tian said
Haha, good on you mate, you even made to the New Zealand newspaper yesterday. The New Zealand tourism minister wants you to talk to him :)
For those Kiwis keep pointing fingers at other countries for the right to speak – In your face!
Jocelyn said
Wow the media have really made a story out of nothing here. I expected Pom-style whingeing but it’s just good natured ribbing.
Flight of the Concords last week did a great job of demonstrating our relationship and showed we’re not above making fun of ourselves.
BTW Phar Lap was a HORSE and as such doesn’t have a nationality. I’m sure it wasn’t thinking “I have to win this for my country”, more like “I can’t wait til this jerk stops hitting me and I can have my oat bag”.
Shimmy Waru said
Hey man… who cares. lol… seriously. I’m maori living in Oz and I hear all the dumb jokes… I go home, I don’t really hear any jokes about australians, and if I did I wouldn’t tell them. What is an australian? the white folk who stole a country and a generation from the indigenous people and then had a huge ceremony ages later to say ‘Sorry?’
I have one Australian born son (NZ made) and a NZ born son…. hmmm… poses a bit of a dilemma doesn’t it…. I haven’t even read the post because I can’t be bothered. It’s an age old poke at us because its not our (NZ) nature to make fun of the Australians and it is the nature of the typical white Australians to make fun of anything with a pulse. I can’t believe how many australians get a kick out of a NZers accent – ‘say six’ haw haw haw ‘ say it again’ haw haw haw ‘ now say fush n chups’ haw haw haw… eyore!
Get over it already – life has many more important things to care about.
Ruth said
As a fellow Aussie who has made the move across the ditch (against the ‘tsunami’) I find this hilarious – everything you have written is spot on… I love NZ, but guys you have to lighten up! What abou those Mitre 10 ads and the Kiwi Bank ads? It’s OK to make fun of us, but when the boot’s on the other foot…..eerie silence
Joe said
What Susan said spot on. nice work keep it up.
Baz said
spot on mate, we are a pack of uptight bastards who need to learn to take a joke. And everyone gets offended by a bit of a pisstake, not to far away from America in that regard, a lot of cardigan wearing hand wringers who will talk seriously about whats wrong with the world and not do anything to help fix it. We are quite a lot like aussies eh?.
Oh, and our beer is fine, you’re just drinking the mass produced rubbish that we sell to students and tourists.
Katie said
I’m a kiwi living in Sydney
- I left auckland because it had no soul
- it scares the crap out of me driving in NZ
- kiwis don’t like aussies taking the mick
- kiwis are a little odd, but that is one of the endearing things about our country
- both countries have their funny ideals – there is nothing better than pointing out the weird aussie ways to my australian husband
Matt said
Hey mate, great site! I really am glad that I have stumbled across it. I actually read about it in a local Tasmanian newspaper this morning – the Mercury (or the Mockery as it is often called). It seems we have swapped places, as I am a Kiwi, living in Tassie. Mate – you are definately the one who has upgraded! You must be having a laugh when writing this – “compared to NZ, it’s a friggin’ thriving metropolis”. Hang on – you are from Tassie aren’t you? Come on – be honest with yourself – Tassie isnt even in the same league as NZ! Dont get me wrong, I do like it here, but I think Tasmanians like to lump themselves in with Australians, when we know they are a different breed altogether! I think this Tasmanian professor sums it up well in the article I read this morning – “Essentially, Tasmanians enjoy Kiwi jokes and bagging out New Zealanders so much because we get picked on by everybody else”. Well said.
Anyway, keep up the good work, keep up the banter, and keep those photos of the most beautiful country in the world coming!
Cheers bro!
Becks said
LOL bah the media here in NZ has just blown this out of proportion, Kiwis and Aussies always have a bit of a piss take of each other :D lol!
Great blog by the way :D
Nadia said
Ah yes the Kiwis are great at giving it but can never take it!! Being Irish i get the piss taken out of me and little old Ireland a lot, I can take and give it just as much. Such a pity they get offended so easily.
Why would anyone get offended by you saying Rotorua smelled of rotten eggs!!
Oh and for you Kiwis out there whats up with the saying ‘Thats so Irish’??? I have never heard til i came over here.
Hayley said
I see what (typically) has been missed in all the articles about your site is the way they’ve taken it out of context. You’ve mentioned what a great time you had in Rotovegas (go the mountain bike tracks!) and included some great pictures. NZers complain about the smell all the time. I’ve been in NZ for 8 years after moving from the Gold Coast/Bris. Traffic is bad on all major roads at peak hour traffic Aus or NZ. I love NZ and some people need to lighten up. But hey…. free publicity!
Paul Wiggins said
This Australian Kiwi agrees with the following: To the Kiwis reading this: Don’t take it to heart, I seriously love you guys. But you really need to work on your sense of humour. It’s a piss-take, alright?
To Australians: Everything I’ve said is true.
lulu said
My wife and I lived in Sydney for 8 years. Great spot, the only problem was there were too many Aussies. When we said we were shifting to New Zealand no Aussie could believe me. They are so up themselves that they couldn’t beleive anyone would move to New Zealand in preference to Australia. I don’t think it is our sense of humour or inferiority complex being exposed here, I think it is their arrogance and their inferiority complex. I’m pretty comfortable with my sense of humour.
Lulu.
Matt said
Hello.
I don’t see what the fuss is about. Very well written blog and pretty funny.
They should make comment sections open only to those who aren’t a hazard to themselves and others and don’t get inflamed about stuff said on the internets.
Plus, it’s a slow news day if the papers / online press have to write about some idiots getting irate over what someone writes.
Anyhow, keep up the good work sir.
Cheers, Matt (kiwi)
Hayden said
Bit of a laugh. You know where to target the sore spots of the average kiwi (as we do the same to you guys). Living in Melbourne and always enjoy taking a bit of a dig at my aussie mates accent and they do the same. You’re always gonna get the odd Aussie/Kiwi who’s a bit patriotic and takes these things to heart..ah well. Though we will take Pavlova, Phar Lap and Crowded House and leave you guys with Russ. Take a look at Alternative Rugby and Youtube and you’ll exactly the same thing coming from us.
Evizzle said
Haha ha ha ha! what frustrates me is that Aussies and Kiwis seem to recycle time and time again, the same “joke” or useless pisstake “phrase”, from sheep shagger to convict, it runs along the same lines as i’m black you’re white, your dicks small, mines huge as, no matter what, after reading it and hearing it (alot), it kind of gets boring! Australia is a beautiful country with plenty to offer (thanks to Kevin Rudd) NZ is a beautiful country as well (umm pretty grass and shit like that), it’s just the tiny minded people who inhabit these countries that make it “ugly”. People!! you need to wear little shorts over here because it’s so fucking hot, the short trouser thing is because kiwis are unsure if the weather is going to be hot or cold, they wear in-betweens! (due to nz’s unpredictable weather patterns). All in all let’s face it, Aus and NZ are very similar countries, they were both invaded by brittish, and the native people were raped and murdered and so on and so on!!! anyway just putting in my 2 cents worth like the creators of this site and also anybody who leaves comments!!! hahaha…
Ryk said
Hahaha….Love it!! Found your summary of NZ hilarious. I live in Wellington and concur that it’s one of the many better main centres in NZ. Especially better than Auckland and I’m glad you picked that up.
Keep up the good and funny blogging!!
Len said
Haha, so funny and true, however I don’t think being a visitor in another country and taking the piss out of there dialect is really that intelligent, actually it is you that has the bad accent over there, its morelike fissssh n cheeeeaaaps LOL. See I live in Australian and am a Kiwi (been here for 2 years), but I understand that I am a visitor here and have enough respect to appreciate that your accent is foreign to me, yet I am in your country so really i am the foreign person here. See that’s the difference between Kiwi’s & Aussies we repsect other countries, Aussies are just to arrogant to realise anything. I never really thought it was true until I moved to Australia but apart from being a lazy bunch of workers and always complaining about everything, I can see why Kiwi’s are always given jobs over here, because we are protective of our rigths as people but work harder to prove it. To bad you were born an Aussie aye LOL. Don;t worry it’s not your fault, blame your parents.
SEAN said
ha ha typical crim! whats Australia got? steve irwin? oh thats right he died! guess you have to go back to paul hogan, oh now you have mass murders that start bushfires i guess thats a claim to “flame”. too soon? i love the site though really! but remember if you dish it out, you have to be able to take it too! keep it up. ill see you on the news tonight
Maryanne said
Lol..I think this is cool site and yeah there are some kiwi’s out there that are wound up tighter than a crabs ass and don’t know what having a sense of humor is about. Kinda sad really, but it fits. . . .unfortunately. And Auckland is HORRIBLE! And Rotorua does STINK! Smells like rotten eggs actually, and you can never get the smell out of your clothes. Its a place i dont like to visit let alone pass through. Keep it up! If you offend people its because they don’t know how to laugh or see the funny side of things :)
anamerican said
Hi,I am an Aamerican living in US and never been to either Aus or NZ yet but have known a few Aussies and a cpl kiwis. I think what seperates the two is the arrogance of the Aussies ( I could never usderstand what that’s based on !! ) and the modestly of the NZ’ers ( yea some of you may call it “inferiority complex” but its better than arrogance based on…I really donno what ! )and if the Aussies are so ‘superior’ than why do they come here to US in heaps looking for a ‘better life’ ? Was reading all the comments on here and even though i personally think that lot of comments on the site are a lil insulting, most kiwis are still very light hearted and sweet about it whereas all the comments from Aussies are a lil hateful ! If someone doesn;t know that the capital is Wellington is than that only shows there ignorance .BTW how many people have heard of Canberra ( is that how u spell it ? ). Only cities most people know are Sydney and Melbourne. Just curious- did u have a website on Aus when u lived there and made fun of Aussies or is it just more fun to look down on the kiwis ?
I think the site would have been funny but i doubt the intention behind it .
Nick
aussie_pride88 said
just wanna say, not a bad site keep it up.. and to u new zealanders, jus relaxe.. take a chili, sit down to sum fush n chups and a tooheys// peace out
Max.W said
I just read a story on a nz news site regarding the reactions to this blog and the carry on of people. I’m a kiwi born and bred, I like the way you expose us kiwi’s for who we truely are, we are a bunch of inferior softies who think rugby is the only sport on the planet, we all need to seriously grow up and the media most especially as they moan and groan about everything. We have a real bad habit of supporting sports people when they do good and slam them for six when they do bad (Russell Coutts – black heart campaign). We moan and groan when people don’t say our country right or confuse us with aussies.
We are capable of so much but we are far from ever reaching our true potential.
Megan said
http://tripstar.houseoftravel.co.nz/blogs/house_of_travel_blog/archive/2009/03/26/aussie-bloggers-cause-auckland-stink.aspx
Fred McDagg said
I shufted here from Scotland over 12 years ago and reckon there is no better place to live.
However I reckon you’ve hit a rather large nail squarely on the head.
Beer. Macs isn’t too bad, and Monteiths is bloody nice. The more common piss served up from Lion and DB are best avoided.
Driving. You take your life in your hands every time you venture onto the road, the concept of the roundabout seems to be a mystery to many Kiwis.
Loosing at sport. The only time I have felt shame for Kiwis was during the 2003 Americas Cup. Bad losers. And after every Rugby world cup, why does there have to be an inquest? You got beat because you weren’t good enough!
The negative responses to this blog are proof that a lot of Kiwis can’t handle their country and their ideals getting a bit of flack.
I’m sure it wouldn’t take too long to whistle up a similar blog about Australia. Or Scotland. Surely somone has.
I’ll get out of yer way now.
K said
There really isn’t anything too insulting in this blog, just the normal whinge of people who have moved country. Who hasn’t lived in London and MOANED about the weather, and the cold, and the people? And people who move to Australia complain about the heat and the spiders and the snakes (and the Aussies)!
There are always things about a new country people don’t like, because it’s different to what they know. And if it’s so bad then it’s time to consider moving home!
If only The NZ Herald hadn’t edited their “article” in such a biased manner, I don’t think anyone would actually be bothered by this blog and it’s jokes! Media driven mass hysteria. Just the usual :)
Ralph said
Being a kiwi living oversea’s you really lighten up and start seeing the big picture, if you cant laugh at you self then you are stuck up, love the blog I have saved it for future reading. We are flying into NZ tomorrow for 3 weeks and I hate the roads and we flying around the country instead of driving because I want my family to live and not be killed by idiots on the road.
In the states I’m getting use to be called an Aussie but it took sometime for me to get use it, in the end what the hell as it is no big deal.
keep up the excellent blog
mark said
go back home ya kangaroos.
smashem said
Thats what happens when everyone spends too much time on the internet. Makes you all soft.Everyone knows that Aussie makes up our third island so what you all worried about…
Debbie said
Hilarious! As a kiwi living in Melbourne I think you are pretty much spot on about everything (including Sydney).
Although I’m not sure the experience would be that much different to moving from Melbourne to Adelaide or Brisbane ;-)
Nicole said
What a pissa. You would think it was Oprah Winfrey or Larry King that had just dissed NZ to the world. The NZ media has blown this out of the proportion and now everyone is laughing at them more than ever before by the cry tactics. It’s one simple person taking the piss on their own website. Cop it sweet and get over it….they say, laughter is the best medicine.
james said
I’ve lived in Auckland for 45 years and I have never ever ever heard anyone say they love the place. I’ve heard people from Melbourne, Sydney, London and New York say they love their city but not Aucklanders. There is nothing man made about the place to love. The best bits are what mother nature has provided. Whatever man has touched or had anything to do with in Auckland has been stuffed up. Architecture? Traffic? Inner city apartments? Public transport? Art gallery extension? You name it. The weather is OK, and the beaches! The only reason to live in auckland is if you have a job. It does not warrant it’s international rating as a city in which to live.
Samantha said
Crikey mate; give us a fair suck of the sav! Our highways and driving habits are just fine – as long as you fly everywhere.
Jack Yan said
Love this blog. I am surprised that so many of us have taken this the wrong way. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, then why are we watching Flight of the Conchords? Or believe that Jason Gunn looks debonair on Dancing with the Stars? Keep up the good work, and think of the exposure as something that brought you some Kiwi readers who actually have a sense of humour about themselves.
Jackson said
Guys/girls…. LOOOVVEE your website!
As a former kiwi, now proudly Australian citizen, I know full well the dark, overly culturally diverse, crime ridden, damp, wet, boring, soulless, mind numbingly sterile evironment that NZ (Auckland in particular) provides.
N.B. Queenstown is perfect (don’t touch that part)
Keep up the jokes, they are hilarious!
Deb said
Off to Oz shorlty for our annual holiday and have to say I love it there. I think your blog was just fun and that too many ppl in BOTH countries are just too PC and worry about shite that doesn’t really need to be stressed over!!! They shud prob build a bridge and get over it eh!!!!
Paul said
I get the humour mate, and i’m a Kiwi that doesn’t even like Australians! And all the Kiwis that can’t take the joke, are the joke! (See what I did there, quite cleaver I am) (I mean clever..)
D.J said
This site is true. I find Kiwis to be very boring people and have no sense of humor. They seems to have there heads all the way up someones XXXX all the time. When you joke with them they get very offensive and very aggressive. We aussies love to lough and have a good time not bashing each others head in for no reason at all.
mike said
lawl, wat a waste of internet time
Robyn said
Found the link to your blog via the media frenzy, gotta say I love it. So funny & true, I’m definitely bookmarking it.
It’s interesting how many Kiwi’s love the Beached As Bro cartoons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA), which is basically mocking us too, but take offense to your similar humour?
Keep up the good work anyway
From an amused Kiwi :-)
Chloe =] said
hah I find you halarious! love it muchly!! as a born and bred NZ’r, I love it. love taking the piss out of anything really =]
go you!!!
kia kaha indeed!
Lucy said
i get your point that this is a piss take, but is it really needed? you aussies take yourselfs to seriously so its not just us kiwis and imagine what it woulda been if it was the other way round.
wouldn’t trade living in NZ for Aussie for all the money in the world!!
joe said
I have been reading about all the controversy relating to comments on this site, and yes, I have to agree with people who are saying that Kiwi’s should learn to take a joke. I am from England, but have lived here for 6 years and never plan to return home. I love NZ and the people and many of its little quirks. However, Kiwi’s are forever taking the piss out of other countries. For example, I have been on 2 different flights recently, one where the Kiwi pilot continually took the piss out of England and kept on going on about the England/NZ cricket score (England were loosing obviously), and another on Pacific Blue to Australia, where a Kiwi steward continually ridicuelled the Aussies. You just have to look at the TV adverts to see how much Kiwi’s go on about Kiwis, Kiwi life and Kiwi ingenuity – it is a nation that is totally obsessed with itself and is forever talking about itself.
So come on Kiwi’s, stop taking yourselves so seriously!! You have a great country full of happy, friendly people. Make a joke and take a joke.
FourthMan said
Pfft I can’t believe the kiwis have taken this so seriously, they need to loosen up like us on the other side of the pond. Keepem coming mate. Cheers.
Rowan said
Choice site man. Don’t listen to thoes bloody JAFFA’s, I rekin your pritty bang on with your comments, very entertaining (even for an Ozzy).
Keep it up!
Cheers
rob and sonja said
absolutely brilliant, loved it, so right,. and we are kiwis………..but we do live in aus.
Ashlea said
I have just moved to Australia from New Zealand, and I love it! I have lived in NZ my whole life, but over here things are calmer, more relaxed and NOBODY has tall-poppy syndrome.
From living over the ditch for 6 months I can totally get where your posts are coming from. So keep them coming!
Kiwis need to lighten up, and realise everything is better when you can laugh at yourself!
Paula said
What???? I read about some w*nker saying horrible things about NZ so I thought I’d come along to defend my country… Just like to say, nothing here is offensive, it’s in a light hearted tone, and people need to drink a cup of concrete and HARDEN UP! Get over yourselves!
John said
Kia ora back at you,
fantastic to have a chuckle, I agree you are rightI have been back 11 years & have only now adjusted to this way of life. Was away for 30 years absolutely loved the mighty Oz, the great country was very good to me, but boy do my fellow kiwi’s have a chip(no pun intended)on their shoulders!! one thing aussies do is take the piss out of themselves before anthing or anyone else,I found if you gave as good as you got you were OK ? I just loved the humour of that country. So yeah “don’t take yourselves so seriously Aotearoa !!!(thats NZ for our oz cousins)
Brett said
Absolutely hilarious!!!!! I’ve lived in NZ my whole life, travelled to Oz numerous times & I love both countries. I think some of the Kiwis need to lighten up a bit. In saying that, it does worry me that alot of tourists come to NZ & all they see is Auckland & Roto-Vegas…..hahaha
bruce said
He’s in love with the place. He never expected the people to be so intriguing, so enigmatic, to have such a curious sensibility. He grew up in the big dust cloud, where such things are not encouraged. We should embrace this poor refugee from the land of the blatantly obvious. He’s losing his heart to us, to the weirdos with the socialist dress sense. Someone needs to take this man bush. Someone with proud ankles.
Debbie said
Love NZ, been here 10 years, but yes, some people need to lighten up. Gosh, some of them are so PC and have no sense of humour. Their gloom outlook makes me want to cry.
TJ said
Fantastic site and yes us Kiwis should not take it so seriously! After all, we bag the Aussies all the time.
Rosie said
I don’t get it? If making jokes about another country is going to boost your self esteem, so be it. So? Where is the punch line? Kiwi’s do have a sense of humour, I think watching Kath & Kim is more hilarious than reading your senseless blogs.
Joe Jones said
Hey man, a lot of kiwis can’t laugh at themselves, but I’m not one of them. Keep it up, I’ll be back.
martin said
Yeah, nice one.
I have just moved back from Melbourne and I can’t say I’m glad to be back
I miss the restaurants, the shopping, the better choice and cheaper prices for fresh food, the infrastructure, and most of all the optimism and confidence of Australians, new and old.
Auckland’s just a big country town. True.
Kymbo said
(Living in SA)
Ive spent some time in NZ. Nice people, beautiful country, pretty girls, cold beer…whats not to like…
This is a funny blog..be nice now people…LOL
Greg said
Having moved here from OZ 9 years ago with my OZZY wife, after having lived in Sydney and Brisbane, I found it a refreshing change from the racism and so-called right-of-middle politics. Oz is basically a police state, based on government strong-arming on all “democratic” policies,like voting, where in the world else would it be considered a crime not to vote…..part of abstenance in the face of no politicaly viability…thank the gods that “Mr. Howard” is history.At least here people vote with inteligence, are culturally more sensative and if I must agree to kiwis being hobits, well it’s better to be hobit than a yobbo.
Stui said
Gordon Bennet! I’ve been scoffing fush n chups down under down-under for 30+ years. Glad I’ve still got a sense of humour. The local CB’s need to loosen their ties a tad. 2BH, I’m surprised the local media have spent two days bleating on about this site like its some sort of threat to NZ or sumfink. Must be a real lack of news in this upside-down boot we call Aoteroa, the land of the wrong white crowd. Great blog, well worth the look.
KeeweeBroh said
That’s such a crack up
Lol and im NZ
Jon said
Yo.
Love this little website. It pokes fun at us all while making the blogger look like a bit of a backward ignorant idiot. So lighten up NZ. I’ve lived in NZ, Aus and now the UK and I can tell you that I find some people and habits in all places that are amusing and annoying. Anyone been to Middle Australia (yikes, “inbreeding”); or how about in a local pub in england (fat yobbos… and inbreeding); or how about to little town NZ where Gore is the big City (nuff said). Have a laugh; know that Australians will always be crims and idiots, the poms will always cry about not having everything for free and losing every sporting match in existence, and us kiwis will always have more sheep.
Tony said
As a Kiwi, I’ve lived and worked as an expat overseas for the last 20+ years all over the world. During this time, I’ve only returned home twice on holiday, once cutting my 2 week trip short as I became homesick from boring old Perth. I couldn’t get over how the rest of the world had moved forward and most of my friends and family were still doing the same things now, as they were back then. The only difference was, that they were now married, with 2.5 kids and a morgage.
Don’t get me wrong, I love NZ and still support the Mighty All Blacks and the best thing about the aussies and kiwis, is the love hate relationship we have (ie. the Kiwis love to win and the aussies will always hate to lose). Having traveled around the world many times, you’ll always find kiwi’s and aussies drinking somewhere like long lost friends.
Don’t spoil the healthy rivalry we have by turning this all the wrong way and getting uptight. After all, this blog is written by a man who knows his mum’s on the rags when his brothers dick tastes funny! As a Tasmanian (with a PhD I might add), he of all people, knows how to take a joke.
Keep it up, great blog
Ioan said
It is quite amasing to see the aussies bashing the kiwis; it is rather like the two dumb kids at the back of the class having a row with one another; compared to the rest of the world Australia and NZ score about the same for culture and education…big fat zeros; and you damn accents, indistinguishable as they are from one another, are like finger nails on a black board….tell me: is it because you know so little that everything you say is a question (intonation rising at the end of the sentence!)
And one more thing for both Aussies and kiwis: “2 pints or Guinness and a double vodka, or do I have to stand here all day you lazy F&*&ing B*&^%$£&*”
john d. said
Eh? What’s all the fuss about? The Herald article made me expect something offensive and funny. It’s just about some sad yupster with too much time who is pissed he can’t by an Aussie newspaper in Auckland.. haha!
Trueblu said
Great site,i am currently setting one up about living in australia and the differences between non australians and the local ”crew” as they say here in oz,also the amount of boff head australians i work with makes for comedic surprises and wonderment as i watch grown men struggling to count past 10 and only knowing half the alphabet even when writing in text lol its no wonder there are more foriegners who are leading hands and supervisors here it makes you wonder….? its going to be a great read.
Gayle said
Lol! I’m a kiwi living in the UK and while i think us Kiwis take some flak, I’m pretty sure we give as good as we get. What’s the harm in a little friendly rivalry? Besides, if all the Aussies thought NZ was paradise, it would be full of the blighters and then where would we be!
Chin chin
FN said
Well you’re right Rotorua does stink! I was born and bred there and when ever I get back home from the UK I always wonder how I lived with it for so long. My husband and I had a laugh over your Roto-vegas Aroma questions! And NZ drivers are appalling, but the Aussies are just as bad I hear. Don’t give up the blog – everyone over here thinks I’m an Aussie, which I admit to if I’m up to something naughty!
Thomas said
This is just sad. Anybody would think that we fought a war against each other at some stage. Where is the ANZAC spirit. You guys are all inbred penal colonists but we dont go round telling everyone.
Oh you can find the league world cup for sale on trademe.co.nz for $5. We didnt want it anyway.
Tommy said
To Australians: Your “sense of humor” is beyond understandable to world:P
To Kiwis and every1 else: Dont take them serious fellas, they are nuts.
Kia Ora! lol
mary said
Have u heard of our kiwi website about aussie’s
aussiesclaimeverything.com and
aussiewanker.com
enjoy guys
Gavin said
Can’t see what all of the fuss is about. Some of the humour almost bought a smile to my face, most is just a rehash of humour used and developed for decades. To NZer’s, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Also think of the upside, anything that keeps Australian’s in Australia, or at least away from NZ can’t be a bad thing.
Andrew Sole said
Great blog mate. I am surprised more ‘Mainlanders’ haven’t complained that you haven’t been down there yet.
Watch out for Taranaki, hillbilly country there.
Beer wise, mate, stay away from the rubbish and try a Macs or Monteiths.
mary said
Don’t take to heart my last comment. Would have to say it is a good website and a great idea. Well done!!!
Bunks said
I can appreciate your disappointment re: not being able to buy the Age. I bought the NZ Herald this morning to read about the mighty Blues beating Richmond last night and there wasn’t a bloody mention!!
Some flat nosed, square headed dude on the back page?
;-)
Mike from Auckland said
Love the blog, a good laugh. here’s a link to a resource would be immigrants might like to peruse before making the jump.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/New_zealand
David R said
As a Kiwi here in Melbourne I read about this when I was scouting the NZ Herald online (that’s a hint on how to catch the news in The Age). Yes, as a Kiwi living here in Oz I can see what you write is in jest – perhaps the delivery lacked some tenderness – that said both sides of the ditch do so much enjoy taking the piss out of each other and this time you managed to do it very well.
Hope you both continue to enjoy your time in NZ as I love my time in Oz.
Kiwi Ange said
Hi There.
I’m glad to see your blog is back online. I found it very amusing :-) I am a kiwi living in Brisbane and could probably write a similar blog about the “weird and wonderful” things that are different here in Queensland. But then I guess the rest of Aussie probably thinks that about Qld anyway :-) Ha ha. Sometimes I miss the comfort of familiar NZ very much – but then the sun rises the next day and I remember that different is ok :-) So I had a chuckle reading your stories about the same thing on the NZ side of the ditch.
Btw: It’s probably best if you steer clear of highway 50 if you don’t like highway 5 :-) That’d scare the hell out of you ;-) And definitely don’t drive towards Gisborne or you’ll be overtaken by a truck, going around a corner, up hill :-)
Boss said
I see you have amended KAI ORA! kia ora bros!
I will always bag oz and and be against their sports teams, but when it comes to the rest of the world, i suppose we always stick together someway or another.
It’s just like being a big bro little bro thing.we will always pick and fight each other but in the end we most probably help each other out without a second though if the rest of the world was against us.
mean tino rangatiratanga mean.
Cuz (Expat NZ in SYD) said
I can’t believe your surprised at some of the negative comment. You need to know that kiwis are fiercely proud. Its interesting to see your perspective of NZ as an Australian. I would love a serious conversation to compare your experience as an expat there compared to mine as an expat here (Syd).
I don’t have a problem with your observations but if you dish it then you need to be prepared to eat it.
I guess after 25 years living in Syd I get used to some of the bullshitt comments that some of youse think are funny. I have a lot of good banter with my Auzzie mates and work colleges but some of it here goes right over the top.
Do you seriously think that if I started the same sort of blog here in Sydney that the Red Necks (and there’s plenty off them with their “Were full F#$K Off” bumper stickers) wouldn’t be looking for blood. Alan Jones would have a field day.
Jason said
We’re a bunch of mongrels sometimes. I apologise on behalf of every decent Kiwi – hopefully you’ve met a few. For those not getting the joke, get over it.
Grant said
I really can’t see why this “controvosy” has generated 3+ days of front page news converage. Its a great site and long may your satirical and humerous outtake on life in NZ continue. I personally think the it’s more media hype than anything, but look on the bright side, your google adsense revenue will be massive this month :)
Iain said
Good blog. Most of your comments are spot on. And the rest, well, they’re just the honest observations from someone who didn’t grow up here. That’s fine and it’s pretty good natured, and some of it’s positive. I’ve no problem with any of it. I just wish some of us kiwis would grow a thicker skin and stop being so po-faced and self-absorbed.
Gregg said
Good one Man, sort of wake-up call NZ NEEDS!..Kiwis tend to be hard and over sensitive creatures, we need to lighten up more and pull the carrot out
of ass!..as for the Tourisim folk in their offices whinging about the blog, f**k em!..they are only out to protect their own money earning ventures! :D
Kiwi guy,
Auckland.
wayne said
This site is a laugh, a bit close to the bone on a couple of issues but if you want to get a bigger laugh or maybe more upset try going to http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page and type in any place in NZ or Aust.
Me said
I’m a kiwi living in Aussie and think this is a great blog. Anyone reading the papers would think your blog was complete abuse but it’s just a very humorous view on things. Everyone getting upset needs to relax a bit. And anyway, how good are you? Wtih the amount of things going on in the world you’ve got to feel pretty special about making it onto the front internetpage of the papers without even trying. Some bikkies killed someone though so your status has been dropped into the ‘not as important but still cool cause it hassles Kiwi’s’ section
Dave said
Kevin Bloody Wilson once ‘re-dedicated’ a song to Tasmania, called ‘Don’t Touch Your Sister.’ Enough said. And for the other Kiwis on this site, get a sense of humor, you’re a national embarrassment. PETA would have a field day in the South Island. Excuse the pun.
Aussie Paul said
themselves and their country so seriously – Their armed forces for example. Two dingys, an old cessna and a hand painted hilux. Overseas duty is when they cross the Auckland Harbour bridge. They praise their love of the environment and pump sewerage in Auckland harbour. Yeah they talk different and use different words but if it was exactly like Australia why would anyone come here or go there?
Rotorua does stink like shit but its a wierd place that has a unique charm. After a short while your nose is so stuffed by the odour you see it for its culture and charm and not the stench.
People are beautiful although some arent. What long, hard and fucks kiwi’s ??? Primary school ! Stand back and what them and its like being inside a Kath & Kim episode. And its free. Yeah Bro, Aye.
Beer is good – Hell I have given them all a good try. I’m not particularly fond of Sth Island beers like Speights but its not horrid either.
Pies are awesome… “Steak” pies are better than mince ones. The come with true chunks of beef, not fat, sinew, noses & arseholes. Aussie pies dont compare anywhere I have found in 25 years. The frozen ones in NZ Woolies are better than almost every aussie bakery. Any bakery has a top range which are fresh, large and awesome value. The kiwi’s should be proud they havent followed 4 & 20 in making rat coffins. However I will warn any travellers to steer clear of kiwi chinese food from the diary / “takeaways”. I think that’s where they put their rats!
Ice Cream – NZ ice cream is frigging awesome. Real milk / cream and top flavour. Chop diped cones at the local diary with nuts in a choc dipped wafer cone with 2 massive scoops was only $2 last I was there 12 mths ago – Its like a second meal. And I’m not taling of the franchised “NZ Natural” chain which charges like a cabbie at $7 a cone for one scoop. JUst local “tip top” diary variety..
Scenery – Spectacular and always a short hop to something different.
Wines – Yeah some are OK but some are crap. A year back some decent aussie wines in all big supermarkets rounded out the oversupply (overrated?) Kiwi Savignion Blanc which I dont like and was cheaper than home. Sav Blanc is like car wash but not quite as green but that a personal opinion.
Kiwi fruit – How the f would anyone eat it – Its like overpriced snot.
Cheses and diary is great as it meat. Fruit and veg varies with season and location
One thing I will say I always find reading NZ newspapers difficult. They avoid complex sentences and dumb it all down. Hard to read a real news story when its been written for a 12 year old. Oh and their cars – Its a bit like the world tip for new & used cars. Only country worse is probably Cuba.
Ever found a comedy club in NZ ? They dont have them cause locals have a fight they take it all too seriously. Hey it was the home of the Americas Cup ???
A piss-take ? Actually you are just being culturally offensive. Imagine if a foreigner did that in Australia and told us our beaches were dirty, trains are slow and over priced and our Government taxes the shit out of us… Its all true but we dont like being told.
Hayley said
Having lived in Wellington for a few years, it is nice to see some of the piss-taking on the other foot! Kiwis luv to give it but aren’t the best at taking it! Lightin up little bros!
Joyce said
I only speak for myself, an outgoing laid back kiwi, I can only think that the kiwis that were taking it all to heart don’t hang around the pub every now and then, enjoy a good piss up, mock each other, bid goodnight, and fork up some more stories to laugh about next time around….but I must say, some Aussies are known for dishing it out, but can never take it.
Leonora said
Read through your blog this morn and thought “wow I didnt realise NZ was that bad”. Anyway it took me to travel the world to realise I loved my country Aotearoa NZ. Yeah theres some dickheads n clowns but you get them everywhere in every country & learn to stay away from them. I live in Auz now and its great. We came for a better future. But I yearn for the whenua, moana and the green. And I miss the people. the good ones. I take my hat off to the Aussie sportspeople. Theyre awesome and when we get our arses whipped, its a good thing. Cos it forces our guys to regroup and try even harder. Kia Kaha!!
Lisa said
I think you should do a blog on how all the women in NZ eventually sport “The Helen Clarke” haircut… Also, polar fleece is an essential fashion item in any NZ wardrobe. Polar fleece vest, polar fleece socks, polar fleece everything…
Etevise said
The reason why Kiwi’s get so pissed of is that Aussie’s tease them. They don’t get it when they try and pronounce a damn word that it comes out saying it’s freaken different. So kiwi’s take it to the heart because some aussie’s tease their accent.
Possum said
Checkout the Kiwi version in OZ:
http://www.underarmbowling.com
GoHome said
Why do Austrialians dig on NZ so much….
We honestly dont give a rats ass about you
If your country blew up we would be like…Meh!
Stop stealing everything you have thats good from NZ….Get your own style/music as for culture dont even go there.
If you dont like NZ then leave = simple
Oh and FYI
“The dingo did not take your baby”
Rochelle said
I think what you have done for advertising is fantastic….who else could piss off the NZ Tourism department. Good on you, your site is very funny and have very much enjoyed reading through it. As a kiwi in France, I know that moving to any country has it’s upside and downside (especially if you don’t speak the lingo).
Keep up the good work, and don’t get too upset about small mindedness.